The Promise of Perfection

Desire: The Perennial Obstacle The Promise of Perfection The Promise of Perfection illusion VVe often hear teachers of EnUghtenment confidently inform us that what we are seeing is not real. To describe this state of affairs, they insist that much of what we perceive is an illusion. This can be very difficult to understand. Indeed, it is confusing when we are told that we're not seeing things clearly, we're not seeing things as they are. So what does it mean when teachers of Enlightenment tell us that most of the time what we are perceiving is not as it appears? If something is illusory, it means that it does not exist. It means that what we are perceiving has no independent self-existence outside of our own mind and field of sensory experience. It means, therefore, that what we are experiencing is something that we are creating with our own mind and senses and then projecting upon the world around us. Most of us, even though we're rarely aware of it, live a great deal of our lives very much lost in and distracted by psychological and sensory perceptions that have no objective reaUty What creates this almost perfect continuity of illusion, this The Promise of Perfection unreal stream of thought and sense perception? It is the end- less craving, the endless wanting, for personal gratification. wanting You see, in this world, the world of the ego, the world of the separate personal self, it is wanting—the wanting of this and the wanting of that—that generates so much excitement, anticipation and intense longing. It is important to become aware of the fact that when we want something ^r want someone, we experience ourselves as being intensely alive because it is then that we feel in touch with the drive thin us to have. This drive to have— "I want for me, I want formyself"-—is e2q)erienced by the ego as a positive thing.. And when we think about whatever it is that we want— a <new house, a new car—it excites us. And it is this very ^citement that distorts our perception. It's easy to get in touch with the significance of what I'm speaking about if we look into what it means to want another human being. When we intensely desire another person, who weperceive that person to be in the midst of that longing is infinitely more than who he or she actually is. When we fall in love, we find the mere presence of the other intoxicating. Just to look at that person is mesmerizing. But after we get to know him or her intimately, we discover that it's very Embracing Heaven & Earth difficult to sustain that same level of intoxication. We still find that person attractive, we still feel affection, but that special something, that magic, is gone. In the same way, if we decide we're going to buy a new car, we will find ourselves thinking about it very often. When we see that car, we will experience a thrill. Just looking at it will make us feel special. And when we anticipate the moment when we are finally going to have it for ourselves, we will experience even more excitement. I'm trying to bring to light why it is that certain objects in consciousness can easily appear to be more than they actually are. Precisely because both the car and the one we long to possess are objects of our desire, we see something extra, we see more than what is there. And that more that we n are seeing has very little to do with the object itself. That more that we are seeing comes from our own mind, from our own imagination. What we are imagining is what we are adding to the picture. And it is what we are adding that( makes our nerves dance and our hearts beat a little bit faster. We may have walked by that window with the new car in it every day for a year. But then, one day, hang! Something happens. Suddenly we find ourselves seeing it differently Before, we didn't notice it, but now something has shifted inside us, and because of this, that particular car has become very special. It works the same way with people. You can see a certain person every day, and then suddenly, in an instant, The Promise of Perfection something can shift. Its the very same person, but now every- thing has changed. Its revealing to see that, from a certain point of view, the experience with the car and the experience with the one we long to possess are not that different. As I said, illusion means that we are experiencing some- thing with our mind and senses that does not actuall^jxisL We are creating it. We are not seeing the car as it truly is; we are not seeing the one we long to possess as he or she truly is. What we are seeing is our own imagination fueled by the weight of our desire. the promise of perfection When that magical something happens, when suddenly the car is not just a car but "the car I want,'' or when the one we long to possess is not just whoever he or she is but "the person I want, '' in that moment and in all the moments that follow, a very significant part of what it is that wejre experi- encing has nothing to do with the object itself. What we're experiencing is the power of our own desire to create the illusion of perfection. When you want that car, when you really want that car but don't yet have it and can only stand in front of the window and look at it, it's not just a nice 'car—there's something about that car that is magnetic. And in that magnetism is a promise a promise of perfection, a Embracing Heaven & Earth romise of perfect fulfillment. It's the same experience when the object of our desire is another human being^ You see, what is so captivating about the kind of expe- rience that I've been describing is not the having of the individual or the car, because once we are finally able to possess the object of our desire, we usually experience a process of gradual or even immediate disillusionment. The/ whole point is that the most thrilling part of the entire process is the wanting itself. Once again, for the ego, the wanting in and of itself is always perceived to be a positive thing. That is why it's such a shock when we experience the literally enlightening recog- nition that our moments of greatest joy, our moments of deepest peace and real happiness, are those when we want rjpfhima TViprpfnrp if we waut to be truly happy, we must begin to question what our relationship to the promise of perfection actually is. the challenge To see clearly, to see things as they are free from illusion, is the goal of spiritual practice. It's not that difficult to expe- rience insight now and again. It's not even that unusual for serious seekers to have an experience of transcendence if that's what they really want. But to see clearly, to see things The Promise of Perfection as they really are, is something else altogether. Only that rare individual who wants to be free more than anything else and who wants to know the truth more than anything else will have the power of discrimination necessary to see through that which is unreal^For without that passion for Liberation, we will inevitably be too invested in the ever- intoxicating experience of wanting. You see, we don't want^ Jnot to want And this is what the problem i^^ Many people say that they want to be happy, but it couldn't be true. Why? Because to experience real happi- ness, we have to be willing to abandon the wanting. IVs only when the wanting falls awav thatw£_canbegin to experience^ a fullness that is alwayTWrr^ You can be a very intelligent person and still be completely lost in the thrill of wanting. And the whole point is, as long as we allow ourselves to be hypnotically distracted by that thrill, we will never be able to see things clearly, we will never be able to see things as they really are. There are times when it counts a lot more than others that we are able to see clearly especially those moments when we experience tha t wanting with the greatest intensity. Those are the moments that count the most because when we want something that badly, we may be willing to do any- thing in order to have it. We may even be willing to deceive ourselves and others in order to be able to possess the object of our desire. Jn thosemoments. the wanting can be scl Embracing Heaven & Earth compelling so thrilling, that we may be unable to resist. Will we, in the midst of that intensity, be able to see through it? our fundamental relationship to life If we want to be able to see clearly, we have to be will- ing to look into our fundamental relationship to life. And when we do, we will dismvpr the a11-pprvasivp nature of^ desire. We will see that almost every action that we take is motivated by wanting for ourselves. Indeed, this "I want for me" isexpressed in gross and subtle ways thousands of times every single day—when we look, when we turn our heads, when we reach out. Only when we see the move- ment of this compulsive wanting directly will we begin to

recognize it for what it actually is—a never-ending process of pain and suffering. And as we become more and more aware of the suffering inherent in this compulsive wanting, the way we perceive and interpret our experience will i begin to change. There will be an awakening of profound depth and extraordinary clarity, and this awakening will/ occur in direct conjunction with the recognition of the true face of desire. So if we want to see clearly we have to look into our fundamental relationship to life. We have to be willing to come to terms with the fact that, for most of us, it is based The Promise of Perfection 5 7 on what is, in the end, a very greedy and selfish wanting only for ourselves. Through having the courage to experience this fully, a door to another possibility, another way of being, \will open. In fact, as a direct result we will experience over and over again the always enlightening discovery that real happiness is found only when we want absolutely nothing. The pain of wanting creates an almost endless experi-_ 'ence of tension. And deep^peaceand profound sanit] found onlv when that tension ceases. The wanting and all of the tension inherent in it, which before we perceived as pleasure, we now recognize to be pain. This recognition has extraordinary significance because it is the beginning of a completely different relationship to life. It is the dawning ' of awakening. Embracing Heaven & Earth