Understanding Spiritual Progress

nice to see you so so I want to talk a little bit about progress about spiritual progress tonight I had my first spiritual experience when I was 16 I dedicated my life to Awakening when I was 22 I met my Guru when I was 31 then I found what I was looking for I usually tell people who study with me that it takes about five years of studying with me regularly to understand to get to get a coherent understanding of the teachings of evolutionary Enlightenment and it takes about 10 years to gain a coherent understanding what it means to actually live the teachings and that's all assuming if one sticks with it and stays with the program I um when I started on the path I wanted to make progress from the very beginning I wanted to I wanted to arrive at the goal I wanted to get there and when I started attending long meditation Retreats I um would meet people for example before I went to India for the first time on these meditation Retreats I would meet people who spent had just come back from India it's spent 10 years in India 20 years in India they were hippies and I could tell by the kind of questions they were asking this the meditation teacher they didn't know much more than I did even though they've been out there they've been doing the spiritual work and practicing meditation very seriously and seeking for enlightenment serious L for maybe 20 years and been to Indians and seen many of the greatest teachers and gurus on the planet at the time but I could tell by the nature of the questions that they were asking the teacher that they didn't really know more they didn't seem to know more than I did and at that time I wasn't very experienced and didn't know very much and I wanted to know why is it possible that someone who some of these people who had been at this for so long don't seem to be progressing then um one of my own meditation teachers I used to go to meditation Retreats with inspired me quite a bit he was speaking with some of his students after because when I finally met my Guru when I was 31 and had this very powerful Awakening after which I started teaching immediately I heard when he I heard from others so when he heard about it he told his students a funny story he said he said the problem with Andrew is that he was always only interested in Enlightenment he would never just settle into the practice to rep to repeat he said the problem with Andrew was he was always only interested in Awakening and Enlightenment he would never just settle into the practice which I thought was the funniest thing I ever heard and of course he was right but I'm very I'm very lucky that uh I did and that I do and that I am but he he saw this as my preoccupation with Enlightenment was some kind of a problem he felt it must have been hindering my development in his way of thinking of things so what I had noticed over those years on many of these meditation Retreats is many people were seem to be doing spiritual practice were engaged in spiritual practice had been engaged in spiritual practice for years but more often than not too many times didn't seem to be making any progress didn't seem to be getting anywhere arriving in at any fixed point and the thing is that people like the Buddha and Rah and Mahari and some of the greatest realizers that we've all heard of all spoke about in their own words from their own experience about Enlightenment itself they were proclaiming that there is something to there is a goal to be achieved here there's goal to be attained there the Buddha talked about as the Yonder Shore so I just noticed it seems to be a general pro a general problem I think in Progressive spirituality that um many people don't seem to know where they're going or how they're going to get there but they seem to be on the path somehow someway but they're not getting anywhere they're not getting anywhere they're not getting [Music] anywhere and if we don't know where we're going we don't know how we're going to get there and we don't intend to arrive anywhere it makes it all very confusing and yeah very confusing this is what I wanted to speak about a little bit now I think that progress and whether we make progress is either a matter of it's going either a matter of um being spiritually gifted you know as people have some some people have are gifted musically or gifted with gifted in the gift of writing or gifted in any kind of art form any kind of capacity some people just just gifted have a gift other people don't aren't as gifted but they have to work very hard to to attain the same measure of of competence in that particular field and I think spirit Spirit spiritually it's also similar some people are just more gifted than others some people have to work harder to achieve the same results but there there's amongst how this works musically is they they've done studies about the how many hours did the greatest do the greatest musicians practice versus people who weren't at at the top level and they found that the greatest musicians were all those individuals who practiced the most that seems to those people who make dramatic extraordinary profound miracul this progress seem to want it more than anybody else and seem to put more time into achieving that progress making sure that they get where they wanted to go but this is something important to keep in mind because also in in spiritual practice of course we speak a lot about Grace trust surrender letting go and Faith which are all important parts of being on the path important spiritual capacities to learn how to become masterful and learning how to let go of control but at the same time and on the other side of the equation there is always this matter of how much do I really want this and how much how much of my own effort and intention am I really putting into actually succeeding and getting where it is that I want to go so the bottom line and what I'm trying what I want to share with you is that um a lot of people think that spiritual experiences big big experiences powerful experiences profound experiences are going to change everything and do all the work for them that's not really true some people have very dramatic spiritual transformative experiences and remain changed Forever After as a result other people have experienced similar moments of similar similar profound miraculous transformational moments that don't end up changing very much as a result you know both individuals had the same level of intensity of experience the same their nervous system them was shaken their mind and soul was shaken in this with the same level of intensity except one person seemed to flip into Awakening as a result and the other person didn't seem to make it so a a big factor in how much progress we make has to do with what our relationship to our experience as actually is what is our relationship to our experience which means how free we really want to be anyway um how important to us is is that we make progress is it um is it very important is it of the utmost importance that we make progress that we arrive at the Yore I of when I speak about the process of spiritual practice and transformation I I try to speak about it like the difference what happens if you're in an athletic competition and somebody who intends to become an Olympic Athlete and win a gold medal someone who intends to be an Olympic Athlete and win a gold medal in their particular sport uh it's obviously taking taking that desire to win that gold medal very seriously and their whole life becomes one pointedly focused on attaining that gold medal and we all know that no one's going to win that gold medal without giving giving it everything they've got so if you want to give win a gold medal you have to be willing to make put in all to put it in an awful lot of a an awful lot of effort to achieve the kind of transformation we're speaking about so my point is that transformation and progress don't happen by themselves we can have spontaneous moments of inner freedom and Revelation and insight and ecstasy and Clarity and enlightened awareness these higher States Of Consciousness only become our own when we're willing to make to make them make their attainment an absolute priority in our lives these kind of experiences these these miraculous transformative experiences reveal to us what the goal is that's the state of consciousness but if we're an individual Who had who once has made progress that progress needs to be demonstrated if it's going to be believed throughout the challenges of daily life and The Human Experience is is just difficult and challenging it's difficult to be an enlightened human being it's difficult to be a sane human being it's difficult to be a happy human being and it's very ult to be an enlightened human being so what if you felt determined to live your life as if you were enlightened because you know what enlightenment is because you have tasted it because you experienced it because you have known what it it means from your own experience even even even if you don't experience it in every single moment you know what it is because you have experienced it you know what it is because you have experienced it to repeat you know what it is because you have experience it because you have experienced it you have no doubt that it exists you've experienced it enough times to be convinced Beyond any reasonable doubt that Enlightenment is real and that it exists and the way this works is that at a certain point if you're sincere and if you're serious at a certain point you say Okay God now I'm convinced the enlightenment is real because I've experienced it and the which at which point after how much experience do we get to the point where we can actually lay claim to the enlightenment that we've exper experience that do we say now now I know now it's enough I don't need more I need I don't need to be I don't need to be convinced anymore because now I I already am convinced that Enlightenment is real and the reason that this is important because if once you become convinced that Enlightenment is real it presents us with a kind of obligation because in these higher States Of Consciousness we Glimpse or become con cognizant of metaphysical laws and principles and values they reveal the true nature of existence to us they reveal to us what wouldd called the way the da the way the Dharma reveals to us what the way is the true way of of being the true way of living and inherent in the true way of living and the true way of being are is the revelation of these spiritual principles and these spiritual laws and these spiritual laws and spiritual principles reveal to us that there is a Right Way a true way a real way and a wrong way a way that's not so true not so simple not so clear that's what that's what the way means so when we're when we're in Altered States Of Consciousness when we're inspired by The Awakening to enlightened awareness when we are experientially convinced the way ahead becomes very obvious to us it becomes obvious to us what the right way is because we're in touch with it because we see it we feel it we know it and how much how much spiritual experience does do we need does any of us need to become convinced and in touch with what the way is all the time without needing to necessarily be in an altered state of consciousness to to have access to it for example I've been saying that it's hard to be a conscious human being it's very challenging to be a conscious human being it's much more challenging to be a conscious human being than it is to be an unconscious human being because an unconscious human being in in the context of which I'm speaking about it an unconscious human being doesn't know doesn't know who they are they don't know what they're doing they don't know why they're here they're not living according to any higher principles they're just doing the best they can in a confusing world but to be a conscious human being means we we we claim CL a measure of understanding we claim a measure of insight we claim a measure of clarity about these higher principles about the Dharma about truth about Enlightenment about meaning and purpose and inherent value so when you claim knowledge of of of what the way is of these of these higher virtues meaning purpose and Direction and value Etc then in parent in that declaration is an obligation to be true to this to this to this this vision of higher purpose to to be true to what the way is to what the da is to what the truth is at all times in all places or all circumstances if you can you have a spiritual we want one experiences a spiritual obligation because it's almost like one has not almost one has literally been what the what the these metaphysical principles have been revealed to one in other words there are spiritual laws that have been revealed to us and now we know now we know that they exist and they living their living principles they living virtues the living truths we know that they exist and in a certain way we could say they they seem to know we exist so it's an obligation to a higher path a higher way of being a more true and authentic way of being and the question is at which point in our own Spiritual Development in our own progress spiritual progress do we get to that point when we are ready to live live live according to these higher principles no matter where we are who we are how we feel or what we think one example I wanted to share with you is um is a phrase I've been hearing lately which goes something like this it goes you know I want you to know it's okay to not be okay I don't know if you guys have heard this but it seems to be pretty popular I want you to know like this is what you say to your your best friend or to your lover whoever you care about as an expression of Lov and compassion you would say I want you to know sweetheart that it's okay not to be okay so you give the person permission to not be okay or to be a mess if they need to be a mess it's okay to be a mess because I love you anyway so so what would it what so what would it be like if you said you know sweetheart I love you and it's not okay to not be okay which means because we're suffering because we're struggling because we're experiencing fear and confusion and anxiety it's not okay to fall apart it's not it's not okay to give up self-control it's not okay to give up self reses and dignity it's not okay to give up higher principles and higher Vision it's not okay to give to repeat higher principles and higher Vision it's not okay to give up and lose touch with a higher perspective just because we don't feel okay because we feel depressed or lonely or misunderstood or lost in somewhere so I think a one a big sign of spiritual progress since that's what we're talking about would be coming to that point in our own development when it's not okay to not be okay in other words to be to be more simple about it more direct more clear it's okay if we feel not okay it's okay to feel not okay but it's not okay to act not okay to become a victim of feeling not okay because if you have awakened to enlightened awareness and you know you have if you awaken these higher virtues these higher principles you awak to the Dharma into the da into the truth at a certain point one recognizes that there's an obligation to this these kinds of insights these kinds of Revelations of higher truths and higher principles when you feel an a spiritual obligation a dharmic obligation a moral obligation an ethical obligation a truth obligation to be true to these higher principles that's when you really start to make progress everybody we may we start making progress when we are true to the highest truths that we know to be true no matter how we feel no matter how difficult or challenging our life may be we still are choosing we're still choosing we're still choosing we're still choosing make the effort to be true to the highest truth that we've realized and if we're really making a lot of progress we we we we feel we don't have any choice if we're really making progress we feel we don't have any choice but to be true to the highest truth that we know even though we may be personally relatively in a difficult set of circumstances we may be personally very challenged which is okay which is part of life that's why I said it's hard to be a conscious human being it's much harder to be a conscious human being than it is to be an unconscious human being an unconscious human being is unconscious so they don't know who they are they don't know where they are they don't know why they're here and they don't know what the hell's going on so it's much easier to not know what the hell's going on and you can't be responsible for yourself or for Life yourself if you don't know what's going on but if you do know who you are you do know where you are you you do know why you're here here you know what's going on here then you have to be respons you have to be willing to be responsible for all that knowledge which means keeping your act together so so at this point that I'm describing living the spiritual life becomes an obligation becomes an obligation to be true to the truth it's not something you're doing for yourself anymore it's something you're doing because you have no choice because it's living the truth living the truth becoming an expression of the truth and how we deal with difficulty frustration confusion fear and anxiety is is is shows how much we actually know about Liberation and about the truth itself so we start to make real progress when we when our attention shifts from our compulsive narcissistic self-obsessed thinking and feeling to a relationship to the challenges of being a conscious human being that are very big-hearted and bigm minded and big full of big thoughts and spiritual inspiration and love and care for Humanity and for sension and for life and for Consciousness and for the universe when our soul is no longer trapped in our ego thank goodness that's when we really begin to make spiritual progress and um people who know you and people who love you will let you know in directly or indirectly explicitly or implicitly whether you're living the truth or not whether you're an expression of the higher truth or whether you're you're just lost in your own personal drama because what what what is an ugly sight what is unseemly and with an ugly sight is when we claim to be living the spiritual life in Earnest but as self-obsessed as narcissistic as egoic trapped in self focus as many people who have know awareness and higher principles so if you practice the Dharma and feel that you are serious about it that you're sincere that you are authentic that you love God more than you love yourself then your life and the way that you live it should should become an expression of how much you love the absolute principle it should be obvious to other people who know you this person is living for higher principles and for living for a higher purpose obviously they love God more than they love themselves that's why I love them that's why they're be that's why they that person becomes beautiful to me they become beautiful because their love because of their obvious love and care for higher principles and because of their obvious love and care for higher principles I feel like this person becomes trustworthy because I can see they're spiritually trustworthy which means they're living the Dharma they're living their Dharma they're living their truth it's not it's not just what they talk about to become who they are the life they live is is the Dharma they speak about so then that's when we're living according to our own highest principles helplessly audaciously radically with great commitment that's when we make sure spiritual progress so if you're making a really great spiritual progress you'll understand what I'm saying when I say it's not okay to not be okay which means to repeat it means it's it's okay to be to suffer not that we want to suffer but it's okay to suffer nothing wrong about suffering but we need to suffer in a dignified context we need to suffer within the context in which we're taking full responsibility for the highest principles and highest truth that we have understood when the ego suffers in its own context it's not pretty when the ego suffers in its own context it very gets very ugly and very UNH wholesome it's a it's a place in a space pregnant with self-pity and fear and resentment anger self-righteousness and the small cell so I'm not critiquing the nature of suffering itself or the experience of suffering which is inescapable part of the human experience but I'm talking about our relationship to suffering because in the end as I was thinking about the giving this talk I was thinking about it today in the end what what shows proof positive of our spiritual progress is demonstrated in the relationship we have to our experience much more much more than what the nature of our experience may happen to be in any given moment the nature of our experience in any given moment could be anything could be happiness or sadness ecstasy or Terror but that's not the point the point is what is our relationships all those extreme feeling States what is our relationship to this life right now what is our relationship to the totality of our karmic predicament what is our relationship to the totality of our kic predicament what is your relationship the totality of your kic predicament what's our relationship to our relationship to the totality of our Karma [Music] predicament that's when you can tell where people are really at and you can tell if people are makeing making progress if you get to know them after you get to know somebody for some time one years two years three years four years five years you start to see aha this person talks a good game but they don't live it they're not really trustworthy because they don't walk their talk they sound good they seem reasonably intelligent well informed but they are actually cowards because they don't walk their talk whereas another person you if you get to know them for one year two year three year four year five years you start to notice that they are who they appear to be they say what they do and they do what they say and they mean what they say and they are who they appear to be they are making spiritual progress they demonstrate spiritual progress in their trustworthiness and their authenticity and their truthfulness their realness there for realness so to repeat I think that whether we're making spiritual progress is much more easily determined by how inspired our relationship to our experiences rather than the nature of what our experience may be in any given moment you know most people don't really care how you feel someone says how you doing someone say how you doing how are you they really want to hear you say I'm great so what usually what what we're interested in if we're spiritually inspired what we're interested in from each other is is is this other person spiritually trustworthy are they who they appear to be and are they spiritually trustworthy that's what matters so I feel that when we are engaging with each other we need to take take into consideration fact that um the best gift you can give somebody you love is your own well-being giving giving giving people you love the the the a feeling of confidence that you can that you're okay that you can take care of yourself that you're inwardly strong trustworthy and reliable even in the face of your own challenges and your own fears that's what gives people confidence so a lot of people think sometimes that um bearing our be that that being vulnerable is being able to speak openly about our ego how our EG happens to feel about things speaking vulnerably about our ego's fears and our ego's insecurities and our ego's preoccupations sharing that kind of stuff with somebody does not make anybody else happy it's not going to help anybody not going to help you doesn't help them just creates breakdown in Trust what will make another person feel good what will inspire them is if you can share with that person how your true self feels which is very doubtless about the love of God and if you can share how your authentic self feels which is very positive about what's possible that's what makes people people feel happy that's what will make them feel good and they'll feel good because they spend time with you and you because you spoke to them from your true self and your authentic self you transmitted these deeper and higher truths to them through your [Music] own awaken personality and this is uplifting so what I'm saying is if we if we if sign of spiritual progress is is that you don't have to share you don't have to compulsively share your ego's insecurities with other people it doesn't make any difference if your ego's having a bad day that's too bad if your ego's having a bad day that's too bad for your ego but the worst thing you can do is um start having to share with your with your friends so-called friends about how bad your ego feels that day it won't help anybody else it's not going to help you if you're interested in Enlightenment W in awaken to Enlighten awareness you begin to lose interest in what your ego tells you about reality and how your ego feels about anything because you realize in your most enlightened moment that the ego is a liar the ego is only masquerading as your true self but it's not your true self it's a fake it's a standing it's not who you are it's not who you are it's not who you are so if you keep identifying with the part of you that you have already realized it's not who you are it means you're not a sincere practitioner if you're very sincere if you're making real spiritual progress you stop identifying with the ego if you're making real spiritual progress it means you stop identifying with your ego especially in public in private you may feel the need to indulge yourself if if that's if so then so be it but the worst thing you can do is indulge your ego in public that means from a spiritual point of view you're just not serious because you're still letting your ego complain through your body and mind you're allowing your ego to use your body and mind as a mouthpiece to express its own discontents and that's not uh healthy or wholesome or any kind of positive or nurturing Behavior so a sign of spiritual progress is that you stop doing that which is when you stop sharing with how your ego feels once again to repeat and I know this is very radical stuff this is why people call me radical if you're making spiritual progress you stop letting ego complain in public about its discontents you stop letting ego tell lies in public about you and if you so if you're spiritually strong you're spiritually clear you're spiritually self-confident you just don't do that you just don't do it you don't let your ego vent that's why you have to pay is so much money because they have to suffer through this stuff I guess I guess if you have to suffer through this stuff you it's worth getting paid a lot of money to hear because it's painful listen to The ego's Suffering it's very painful so if you're if you're making a sign of spiritual progress is that you stop doing that please stop doing that please stop doing that please oh please please please stop doing that all we do is hurt ourselves and hurt each other pull pull each other down into the mud of our own unconscious unconsciousness and torment and you go like an existential confusion just don't do that try not to do that try not to do that try not to do that try to stand up and be strong and to resist at all cost and any cost of Temptation to indulge your small self that takes a lot of courage and power of renunciation and commitment to God higher Consciousness the truth the Dharma the T the way higher virtue sincerity authenticity truthfulness earnestness and love so in the end this a sign of the true sign of spiritual progress that you stop indulging your small self in the end the clearest and most tangible and most important sign of spiritual progress that you stop indulging your small self you stop indulging your small self and you stop indulging your small self you just don't do it anymore and if you must you may do it in private but you never do it in public you don't want to spread that poison anywhere around you and if you're if you're if you're someone who's made made spiritual progress you have the spiritual strength not to do that you keep your ego's fears and your ego's frustrations and complaints and unresolved issues and traumas to you keep them to yourself and if you're the real thing if you are the real thing what you express is the very opposite of your small self issues love for God love for the Dharma love for evolution Love For Goodness truth and Beauty love for sensient love for Purity love for earnestness love for sincerity love for transparency love for being real and authentic love for God love for each other love for life so it's serious man it's serious this is what I'm talking about is really serious but the the path is serious the way is serious the Dow is serious these higher virtues and values are all very serious and real and it's up to each and every one of us to kind of make all this Real by How you choose to be and every day every day throughout the every day every single day we have infinite infinite choices in relationship to everything I'm sharing with you but it takes courage to renounce the small self that's how we find happiness and of course Liberation by the way Liberation is the secret on the other side of renunciation of the mind and ego Liberation is is the mystery that we find the the miracle that we find on the other side of renouncing the mind and the ego and Liberation is the revelation of ecstatic positivity that's completely overwhelming to the mind to the small self to everything we've ever known it's to get out of jail free [Laughter] card oh I didn't know that I mean I get out of jail free that that means that means Liberation means your karma gets burnt up it means Liberation means freedom means your karma gets burned to a crisp and you didn't even expect it you didn't know such such an amazing thing was possible you could never even have thought such a thing and did you find out oh my God it's possible and I'm so blessed I'm so grateful I don't even know how to begin to thank you I didn't expect it you can't expect something like that it's it's unimaginable his glory and and uh profundity and we can have glimpses of this Liberation I'm speaking about in the present moment if we can renounce the mind and ego you can get glimpses of the Immaculate nature of Liberation itself unstained and untarnished by our own unenlightened minds and small selves so it's important to make progress everybody it's important that you make progress it's important that I make progress because if I see you making progress it gives me confidence in the Dharma if you see that I'm making progress it gives you confidence in the Dharma because you say oh it's working it's working it's working it's working it's real thank goodness hallelujah praise the Lord Praise Jesus thank you so much I'm so lucky and I'm so grateful the Dharma is really it works it's not just a it's not a fix it's not a it's not a madeup story it's real it's true it works thank you it works because I can see it in you I can start if I can see it in you and you can see it in me then we then my seeing the progress in you and you seeing the progress in me means we give each other the greatest gift of spiritual self-confidence because your progress gives me confidence in my own capacity to make progress my progress gives you confidence in your own capacity to make progress pretty good deal now if you're living the Dharma if you're living the Dharma for real besides your own Liberation you're living you're living for everyone else's Liberation you're living you're living to see other people wake up and let go and become part of the solution that's why that's why you're living in breathing you're not living for any other reason anymore so to repeat when you see other people make progress and they see you make progress it's it's like a sharing of of ecstatic inspiration and positivity thank you and one thing I wanted to share in this talk which is this is more in terms of just the teaching in terms of making progress for each and every one of us it's very important in your own process and in your own practice in your own life where you're practicing the Dharma that you it's better you move forward taking small steps one after the other rather than take a big step that you can't live up to so this so it's better to take small steps one after the other after the other rather than take a big step that's too big that's too big all at once that you can't live up to the worst thing anybody can do is take a step back just take if you take a step back you can lose countless lifetimes I'm just guessing but it still feels like that a progress so I always help people it's better to move forward slowly one step at a time but to move forward too quickly and not be able to stick to it because if every every step forward you take you have to be willing to stand stand up for the truth that you're that you that you that you that you're stepping into which means you have to be willing to embody it even when it's difficult that'll make you strong reliable trustworthy the true Exemplar of the Dharma it's better to take one small steps forward that you can that you can back up rather than big steps that you can't back up but never step back back never step back never step back never step back if you step back it's like it's like it's like if you if you it's like if your ship puts down an anchor it's like ripping an anchor out of the out of the bottom of the ocean you lose your you lose your spiritual Mor and fall back it's like falling falling off a cliff back into some Sara back into the Mind back into the world back into Karma it's a terrible thing to do most people do do that that when they get scared and confused they just rip the anchor out and fall back into the mind and back into the insanity of some sorrow to never do that never do that never do that never do that remain steady and strong wherever you're at and then use all of make use all of your spiritual effort to take one small step at a time putting one foot in front of the other never backing down and never moving too quickly but Be steady you have to believe in yourself you have to believe in the Dharma you have to believe in the truth itself why don't you embark on this path Never back down it's the worst mistake you can make that any of us could ever make so a sign of progress is when you start feeling as that which is in the theme of this talk from the very beginning is when you start to feel an obligation to be strong when you feel an obligation a moral ethical spiritually inspired obligation to be strong and true and high high high mind and high thinking even when your ego is screaming bloody murder you don't listen you don't care so when you if you feel the Awakening of a kind of a moral or ethical spiritual obligation to be strong even when your ego screaming it's a good sign it shows that your authentic self is being birthed for real and that's that's a real sign of progress when your authentic self starts to reveal itself that's the real sign of progress because in this teaching your authentic self is your true self the only self you ever want to be because your authentic self is not really is is not being controlled by your karma by your by your history or by your by anything else than the highest principles in the universe already and when the minutes you start to awaken to your authentic self you start to feel its momentum at that point you can start to take your hands off the steering wheel and take your feet off the gas because it starts Happening by itself it will start happening by itself what that means is you start happening by yourself by itself you start walking and talking and saying things and thinking things that you haven't thought before you start spontaneously expressing sanity Divinity truthfulness love kindness evolutionary ecstasy spiritual inspiration this happens by itself you don't have to do anything just happens by itself when it happens by itself then you know who you really are you're not the old self anymore you're not the small self anymore now you're now you're the the authentic self is coming alive in you and then you that's when you're begin to understand everything directly and then you realize it was all worth it no matter how hard it was no matter how challenging it was it was all worth it and then all you feel is gratitude and inspiration let us all make great progress together I'll make progress to inspire you and you make progress to inspire me and we can Inspire each other and I also think in terms of spiritual Community spiritual s a big part of the big part of the significant spiritual Brotherhood and Sisterhood spiritual song of spiritual partnership is we're here to not only to support each other in this on the path but to inspire each other to be exemplars for each other and to keep our eye on each other because if you're watching me and I'm watching you I have to I have to be at my best because you're watching me and if I'm watching you you have to do your best because I'm watching you and you know it my first Guru Swami harih harand used to say the idle mind is the devil's workshop so it's good to know that people who care about your highest potentials are watching you as unpleasant as that might be CU When e does know what he's looking it because gets up into all kinds of TR all kinds of trouble when you know you spiritual friends have your back and they want your Liberation more than even maybe more than you do and having their attention on you is great gift just like having your attention on them is a great gift back to them so another sign of spiritual progress is appreciating the significance of the Care from other people for our for our welfare for our spiritual progress your care for my spiritual progress is a great gift it says is my care for your spiritual progress and I've seen how this works in real life is that when people who care about the promise of Enlightenment more than they care about anything else they're very tensive to other people being to care about other people's evolution in a very uh eag way it's part of waking up to that's that's part of a waking to authentic self the way that I'm speaking about it is that uh when it starts happening automatically you start caring automatically also about the welfare of other people so many good things can come from all this as I'm sure you're well aware so please care for my progress and I'll care for your progress if anybody has any questions I have to try and answer so if you have questions please write them in the chat box and then I will read them out loud and we have the first question or comment from Ananda and she was writing it when you were talking about uh not putting out all the EG feelings so she is saying I disagree my experience is people who play this way have their ego run things quietly by exposing we can become free at least for women not indulge but reveal and clear whatever works I'm happy to hear that it's not a Dogma yeah whatever works well if you get to know me well you probably find out it is a dog one well um yeah I guess I'm interested in how Awakening runs through the the feminine system um in a healthy in a healthy way like if we're really playing Plan B my experience is even professionally we need to have feedback from other people and to reveal our minds and confidence and to to that purification happens together and so holding everything inside for myself to deal with I mean my experience of that is that like men end up like in shame and denial and blame and um women just kind of take stuff on there's just so many things that happen underground unless we can have that kind of transparent exchange so maybe it's just either I'm just not at the level you are or we just have different ways but I grew up with the way that you talk about and um there was just a whole underground of not it just it wasn't pleasant it's not pleasant no I can I can understand what you're saying and obviously it's what what one could take what I'm suggesting and practice it in a in a destructive way in which it would just be a kind of repression rather than a Liberation and I think that happens a lot in the name of spiritual absolutism so I understand what you're saying and I don't think you're wrong but it's not what I'm pointing to I'm say I'm saying that um I'm saying inand that at the deepest level and this is only for very highly developed practitioners most people can't do what I'm actually describing but I'm what I am advocating what I am saying that for people who are practicing at a very high level we don't need to indulge the egos confusion fears and suspicions in order to transcend them it's just not necessary yeah because at a certain point because at a certain point if the if if the if the if the ego as an entity has been trans if it's if it's been transcended to a significant degree and it's real and authentic um a different kind of inter subjective World space emerges between the people involved that is overwhelmed with love and trust and positive intentions it takes care of a lot of what you're speaking about without even having to speak about it but but I want to honor you what you're bringing up because I you're not what you're saying is you're not wrong and that a lot of people do need to put all this stuff on the table Unfortunately they kind of get it out of the way and clear the air and say what needs to be said in order to kind of get get Beyond it and so I know there's there's a there's a place there's a place for that kind of thing and uh and I know people find it helpful it like clears the air and clarifies the space and gives people a feeling of trustworthy trust trust and honesty and all that safety yeah I I appreciate that but I'm I'm talking something more rarified yeah it becomes possible yeah no that's beautiful very difficult yeah I mean it's my experience of those kind of things emerge when people are working together in a mission-based way so um I guess in the path that I've you know been in most of my life I think or half of my life of baky yoga um you know we're we're living for the upliftment of Consciousness on the planet and you know all eggs are in that basket and so when we're focused on our service then every conversation is the context of that and so I very much experience what you're talking about in in that context and I've seen some of your mature grown-up students who've graduated and they're very impressive um um so I I'm attracted to what you're talking about it's just that I get stuck in the feeling unsafe part sometimes it's good just to be aware of these distinctions and all is good okay well I think that maybe it's just then yeah it's maybe it's a progression and then honoring honoring my process like step by step just not not ignoring exactly and not ignoring level with this emotional level of safety stuff and then continuing to serve and become free through that yeah and also contining to explore the edges of what it means for you to go beyond it also yes exact I am yes exactly that but it's just that like right now where I'm finding a lot of well not the only place I find juice but one of the places is when teachers who are like holding you know that responsibility for people come together and they drop it and they um let a fuller expression of themselves come out while holding you know all the levels together um and I find that to be really beautiful and edgy so is that a little bit disappointing too huh um not for me no not not after everything I've seen already that's like you know behind no I'm very happy with this personally yeah but I I hear what you're saying but I think we can do better I hear that I hear that yeah I'm open good good good good then Stefan is saying hello Andrew I have no question but really want to thank you from the heart for your beautiful and most inspiring talk thank you Stephan thank you very much and otherwise I don't have more questions right now okay well I feel very satisfied I feel I really got the message across tonight I feel very grateful for your listen you listening and I feel that uh more than I intended to share got shared in a way that I felt feels very powerful so thank you all for thank you everybody