The Seductive Allure of Spiritual Awakening

nice to see you all so what I wanted to speak about this time is um something I've been thinking about a lot and I wanted everybody to think about the beginning of this uh talk ask yourself ourselves a question to look into the nature of the question whose life am I living so when we enter into the spiritual life with a measure of sincerity and commitment and authenticity and uh sincerity we discover that um as we awaken to our own depth we also awaken to our own potential for greater depth and as we awaken to our own potentials for greater depth we start to become aware of the fact we find ourselves being informed by our own experience that there is potentially a completely different story that we're living there a completely there's potentially a completely different narrative to our life story and what we find is that the personal self the historical self the historical ego has its own narrative about what it wants what life is supposed to look like what our likes and dislikes are how we see past present and future Etc where our preferences in our things like that so there's a personal narrative there's a personal narrative that most of us are living most of the time and when we awaken to our own death we become aware of the fact that it's a diff completely different kind of narrative that has absolutely nothing at all to do with the ego's narrative being so open up it's a different story line a different story line with almost a different a different entity a different self at the center of the story with different with its own preferences very different preferences likes and dislikes beliefs Etc and this is I I find I have found over the years this the simple fact endlessly fascinating to see that the ego has one narrative the small self the personal self and the true self the authentic self has a completely different narrative and um and this different Narrative of the true self the authentic self has a different context for completely different context or interpretation for the meaning of life what it means to be alive who Am I who we are why we're here what we what we what we should be doing with our time and this is endlessly fascinating to me I literally think about it every day so at the beginning of our time together tonight at least it's night time where I am think for a few moments to yourself about how your ego sees your your ego your personal self your frontal self how your ego sees the challenges and dilemas and uh exhilarations and disappointments of your personal life of your life live through the personal sphere of the separate ego what does that story look like when you thought about that for a couple of minutes when you feel you connected to it at least to some degree then begin to try and tune into those moments when you have utterly totally radically and absolutely transcended the personal sphere the personal context of your own Human Experience and how in a miraculous and dramatic way you began to see the context of your existence here on here on Earth in this body from a completely different perspective completely different vantage point now different everything seemed and suddenly you wanted different things your values changed your relationship to your own history change and your relationship to your own potential future change is so dramatic Al and you feel so different so what I wanted to say at the very beginning is I want everybody to reflect on this question is whose life are you living it's your it's your life after all I think so the question one ask whose life whose life are you whoever you are living are you living the life of the small self the personal self frontal self the ego fundamentally are you contextualizing all of your experience within the context of the ego's perspectives is that how you see yourself moving through time in this body or do you see yourself from a very different perspective the perspective of the true self perspective of the authentic self both of which are fundamentally free and have very different preferences and desires and aspirations that are all liberating by the way in the small self I remember a long time ago I realized that the true self the authentic self versus the ego the small self they're like parallel lines that never meet they're independently self-existing but they are not they never they never intermingle the different contexts and different pathways through space the and time yeah so I want everybody to asks to look for yourself into What whose life are you living which that that what that means is which story are you using to interpret your your relationship to this life to this moment are your decisions and your preferences and your choices based upon the needs of the small self or they made based upon the preferences of the true self or the authentic self now um a lot of people think that um the experience a spiritual awakening it's about feeling great all the time they think oh Enlightenment is a good feeling that you have all the time if you're lucky enough to awaken to Enlighten the awareness it means you're going to feel good all the time you won't feel bad you'll always feel good it's rather simplistic and a little bit ridic reductionistic and ridiculous but it's not that far from the true so the idea is that there is the false idea the wrong idea the wrong understanding is that Enlightenment is a feeling is a higher state in which we feel good and we don't feel bad and well there might be some partial truth in that it's not the it's not the actual truth and what I wanted to say is that um the spiritual experiences that we seek for are not ends in themselves so so many of us feel so lousy and so crappy and so Mis miserable loss and depr confused and depressed so much of the time that we long for Spiritual experiences to as a way to feel better as a way to stick our head above the CL to get a get a different perspective so we can experience relief from the misery of the world of the small self which is totally understandable but um one way of looking at the meaning and purpose of these kinds of experiences these liberating experiences of peace and joy and happiness and Clarity and insight and Revelation I see them as forms of Seduction this this is just a way of seeing as I said as I said in my last talk please don't take everything anything I'm saying literally I just find different ways to express my ideas and ways to help give people different perspectives on very subtle truths so I see these these experiences as use Mythic language it's God's God's way or the absolutes way or the divine's way of seducing us that the highest the experiences that we have if we're lucky enough to have them at all the experiences that we have high States Of Consciousness are like moments of Seduction where we become seduced away from being hypnotically Intoxicated by and entrenched in the views of the small self the perspectives of the small self so you'll notice that in moments of the greatest spiritual happiness the greatest spiritual Joy when you're really experiencing if you're lucky enough to have these kinds of experiences if you're lucky enough to experience that peace that passes all understanding unbearable and unreasonable Joy penetrating Clarity and penetrating inside and the awareness of the presence of the infinite that which is timeless and formless and beginningless and endless presence of Eternity really deep moments of ecstasy when these experiences are intense enough to the spiritual pleasure we experience and the spiritual Joy is so intense that we will at a certain point the experience is int intense enough will give up the EGO will fall to its knees and say father speak in mythical context they speaking of the Great Thou here great other I give up thy will be done not my will but will be done because under under the weight and the intensity of so much spiritual Joy pleasure freedom and ecstasy the ego's uh position just can't hold up anymore it just crumbles it becomes meaningless and empty of any kind of value comes of the way to so much penetrating Clarity and depth and insight so we kind of fall to our knees and give up the OS the ego's Roose is giving up because we just can't hold on anymore to that story we give it up because we just we we we can't do it anymore we can't live in falsehood and in fear and in pretense and in Duality and in self-centeredness selfishness small-mindedness materialism narcissism arrogance Etc we just can't do it anymore we can't bear it and so these experiences will when they're deep enough and profound enough and intense enough and ecstatic enough will compel us to let go which is of course the whole point it's the whole point so when you're telling you when you in terms of these stories that we tell oursel about the life we're living this the story We Tell ourselves about the life that we're living is the is the context of the interpretive framework that we're using to make sense out of our experience from day to day moment to moment do these these days are happening within a narrative framework a personal narrative framework that's unfolding and the ego is very attached to its perspective even though the ego's perspective causes us to suffer unendingly relentlessly and it seems eternally there is a pathological most of us have a pathological attachment to the ego's story which means even in those moments when we know that we're holding on to something that's not good for us like a bad habit or an addiction that which is causing us to suffer we find ourselves unable to let go unable to let go unwilling to let go very divided and even though even if if even even if we understand that what we're doing doesn't make rational sense doesn't make spiritual sense we carry on anyway because we're so absorbed and engrossed and identified and attached to the ego story so even though if we're a true Seeker if we believe we're a true Seeker if we're trying to be a true Seeker we are convinced that we want to let go of the eag story we often most people refuse to do it most people just refuse to do it I came up with a phrase for this was this I call the irrational refusal doesn't make any sense but I'm not going to give it up anyway it's not making me happy it's not going to take me to [Music] Heaven not going to liberate myself but I'm not going to let go anyway so to try to understand that these these spiritual experiences these moments of higher Consciousness and higher states of consciousness are meant to seduce us away from the worst parts of oursel and to convince us that it's okay to let go that it's safe to let go and it's saying to let go and it's liberating to let go it's the whole idea was letting go is the whole point when it comes to Enlightenment that's how it's done about letting go and you can see this very in a very concrete way when when you give you give attention to the to the inner narrative that I've been speaking about the narrative story the story that you're telling yourself about your about your life and your relationship to the life that you're living you're living in a story that and the story is a story that you tell to yourself about who you are where you've come from where you are now and where you're going what it all means that's the story and The Awakening to enlightened awareness awaken to God Consciousness presence of the [Music] absolute the absolute of the is asks us will you please let go of your personal story I love you this is what we're being asked to do by Spirit to let go of our attachment to our personal story because the god principle wants to take up that space in our hearts most of us don't have any room for that space we don't have any room for God because we are so all that space is being taken up by the small self and its story so the absolute is trying to seduce us over and over again with these extraordinary experiences to convince us to let go of the story of the small self says please let go of that story please let go of that story I love you please let go of that story I love you ego doesn't want to let go that's the challenge is the inner spiritual battle that we all have to engage with sooner or later if we're serious and we're sincere now what I think is utterly fascinating and intriguing is that the is that what I'm calling Spirit if we surrender without conditions in full trust and surrender in commitments Eternal commitment it see it seems like you can get the sense it feels like it seems like in those moments that this God principle this absolute principle has a has a different story a different context different purpose making context and story for our life it's a different narrative different plotline and if we let go deeply enough we can be we can begin to get glimpses of what that plot line is and what that story is All About it's almost like it's already there if we have the eyes to see it we can let go deeply enough of our personal narrative of our hypnotic fixation in our personal narrative and we Glimpse this alternate possibility this alterate realm of reality we can begin to Glimpse that there's a a completely other life it's another life the spiritual life the holy life the enlightened light that's literally waiting for us God is very patient I know what I'm saying is a little bit far out but such as spiritual truths are that way so it seems in those moments that when we like when we can like like love the like love the fears and desires of the small self but we can Glimpse that there's there's another life waiting for us there is another life waiting for us another kind of Life another context for Life a different meaning a life a life of very different kind of meaning purpose Direction and context it's waiting for us if we have the courage to let go of the eagles's narrative most people don't do it it's too scary too frightening too overwhelming too absolute can be very intimidating for the small self that's easily to understand why that is because this absolute principle that I'm speaking about this absolute principle that exists the god principle seems to want everything from us not my will but thy will be done so what I find personally and again I think about this every day what I find so fascinating about this is that to repeat what I said that it seems in these moments of penetrating Insight that there is another another life another way to live already waiting for us does not even need to be created because it already exists it's already there if only we have the eyes to see it so see these see these see spiritual experiences as moments of Seduction and I would encourage everybody to allow yourself to be seduced allow yourself to be seduced allow yourself to let go in moments like that take the plunge a big theme in my teaching for many years has been preparing people to know what it means to say yes to the absolute to to to say yes to the right time to not resist to give up the no but ey position to allow oneself to be taken so to speak by the absolute by the god principle so in the end what this boils down to is actually becomes quite simple and what it means is that are we insisting on interpreting the context of the reality of our live life experience in the present moment through the values of our unenlightened small self do we insist on doing that are we making excuses for it or are we willing to stop doing that because who who who you are what you're doing and why you're doing it can be seen from two completely different perspectives one from the small self and one from the big self the ego's always making excuses about why it's right if somebody has a mic open and can hear the echo Clos now okay so the ego's always insisting on its own perspective being the truth whereas the true self knows that it's not the truth it's just a relative perspective has nothing to do with eternal happiness or Eternal Freedom so when you think about your life when you think about what you're doing why you're doing it where you come from where you're going try to apply some of these these thoughts these ways of thinking about reality about your own life about being human but most importantly about the relative context for The Human Experience or the absolute context for The Human Experience they're very very different and also to repeat what I was saying a minute ago which for me personally it's very always very inspiring is when we realize that there that another way actually exists that is beautiful and perfect and liberating and true that it already exists it doesn't need to be created almost like it's waiting for us only if only if only and when we have the eyes to see it we just simply have to go there because it's already there not something we have to create we just have to recognize it and step into it it's like entering into a different dimension of reality a different dimension of existence a different set of truths that offer us a completely different life a completely different Human Experience of this life so when you when you're when you're having your when you're when when you're in the midst of your own spiritual adventures and you're having and you're experiencing High States Of Consciousness ask yourself when will it be enough when at which point do we do you come to do we come to when when we realize we've had enough experience we now we're convinced we're convinced Beyond any reasonable doubt now it's time that we can let go with confidence because once you get to that point once you get to that point that you become convinced Beyond any reasonable doubt not my will but thy will be done and you realize that it's safe to let go and in fact it's the only thing there is to do it's the only say thing there is to do then you start living a different life for different reasons and you stop resisting because in a sense you can say Enlightenment is not really it's not merely a a higher state of consciousness or a different kind of experience of being even though it is it's a different kind of relationship to life and it's a relationship to life in which you stop resisting stop avoiding stop denying stop pretending we allow ourselves to be fully here fully present fully engaged fully committed through the present into the future we're not living in pretense anymore very powerful the Eagle's always telling us that this isn't it the real thing is coming down to is coming down the pike but this isn't really it and when you wake up and stop resisting you realize this has always been it you just denying it to yourself or we were just denying it to ourselves so when we stop doing that it's a that's a big sign of what it means to be free what it means to be to truly be awakened which means you're living life fully and completely and totally and absolutely with absolute commitment to reality not only to being free but to being real I wonder if anybody has anything better to do I remember this started to become clear to me when my my Guru said to me he said um he said Andrew when you begin to see and you begin to understand that samsara and Nirvana r one and r two and you'll be free which means every single moment is inherent in every single moment no matter how it seems to feel what it seems to look like inherent in every single moment is the is the totality of reality inherent in every single moment is the totality of reality and if we understand this we stop dividing life into different into life into different parts and different pieces we see each each moment in each event in the context of the whole and the whole in this this in this context of ver is infinite so that means we're always immersed in and aware of the infinite context of everything we're experiencing so when we sto dividing reality up against itself we kind of awaken to where we always truly are which is here that's kind of what I wanted to say in this talk there's one more piece I wanted to add at the end just to be very clear in evolutionary Enlightenment we of course talk about God being the absolute principle being the some totality of everything that exists and everything that does not exist that's the absolute which is everything and nothing so an evolutionary Enlightenment we divide everything and nothing into two categories the categories of being and becoming or nothing and something [Music] and if we're spiritually ambitious if we're truly spiritually ambitious this I think we should be but if we're truly spiritually ambitious what we want to aim for is a relationship to life in which the as is dead and the future is pregnant with potential so when I say this I want you to think about your own Rel relationship to life to time past and future and to just to see that as a goal as a very lofty goal to attain as spiritually one in which one one in which the past is dead to us and the future is always full and pregnant with potential always full full of possibility this is what we want to work towards in terms of our spiritual practice and our spiritual dedication free from the past and excited about the future pretty good I bet what's good is is please think about these things think about think about what I just said think about trying to live this life free from the past and excited about the future every day because that's what Liberation looks like when it walks and talks it looks like you and me that's what it looks like free from the past and excited about the future pretty good and keep it simple the perspective of enlightened awareness remains liberating only when we keep it simple we start exploring too much complexity we're going to we lose it in an instant because these absolute the absolute principle these absolute perspectives are simple so we have to find the spiritual courage and maturity to hold all the the reality of the complexity of The Human Experience in a context of great Simplicity great Simplicity where it's either this or that fundament so just to finish think about please a lot of these things that I've been saying in the context of the life you're living right now whatever story you're in the midst of is is your relationship to the life you're living right now Liv in the context of the aspiration for in Freedom deep in freedom without compromise or you lost in the ego story ego's endless relative context endless reductionism the ego always thinks the absolute doesn't understand how things look from down here and the ab says oh yes you don't know how things live from up [Laughter] here that's why I say this fanal never moves so please please spend some time if you can in the next few days before after you meditate if that's what you do to look into the nature of the story that you're living which self are you living through small self for the big self these these ancient traditional terms like the holy life which in a postmodern context sound terribly outdated and Antiquated I agree but but in spite of the fact that they sound outdated and Antiquated they still mean something the holy something something that that used to be called The Holy life still exists it's still possible to live the spiritual life so deeply and so profoundly and so authentically that a different kind of life begins to be revealed through doing so so what used to be called The Holy life still exists as a completely different relationship to life and a completely different way of living according to different kinds of principles different kinds of perspectives so the holy life still exists don't think just because a term like that doesn't sound paper post conventional that it doesn't still have value and meaning it does most postmodernists don't really believe that such a thing that's like the holy life is viable anymore not that it ever was maybe from that perspective but I want to encourage all of you to believe that it is viable and and it actually exists which means nothing more than Enlightenment exists that's the whole point okay thank you and what I like about speaking about such a things the holy life is in the way that I've been trying to explain it is the fact that if you're get if you're hearing what I'm saying you're realizing that it already exists saw that life already exists it exists right now so if you realize if you have the courage to realize that the holy life this other other Realties other perspective exists right now that that that tends to give more perspective on where you are in relationship to that if you believe it at all in postmodernism we live in a it's a time of materialistic bias and faithlessness so when you live in a live in a context of uh secular secular materialism and faithlessness there's no ontological or metaphysical even philosophical or cultural pressure upon you at a soul level to make room for an absolute principle or another dimension of life there's no pressure at all to believe these deeper and higher dimensions of reality actually exist deeper and higher potential these deeper and higher potentials exist because if they do exist say ontological truths and we have to have a relationship with those ontological truths if they don't exist or we don't believe they exist we don't have to worry about it because it doesn't exist anyway or it might not exist anyway it probably doesn't exist anyway right I'll just woo woo fantasy Madness but if you realize that these ancient discoveries about reality are as real now as they were then and you have to have a relationship with them if you believe that they're real or you don't believe that they're real even if you don't believe that they're real that that's a relationship but it's better to have a relationship than no relationship but if they do exist and they are real it it compels an honest sincere Soulful soul try to come to ter the implications of what their actual existence might mean for you and for your own life and potentially for our lives that's why this is so interesting it's the ontological and metaphysical even philosophical stress or pressure puts Upon Us upon us that's so spiritually invigorating would we dare to believe that such a things as a holy life actually exists the spiritual life actually exists that Enlightenment actually exists and if it does what does that mean about reality about being human about being me about my own choices relationships like what does it all mean what does it all mean what does it all mean unbearable for the small self to be under so much stress but I think that's a big part of what living the spiritual life and Earnest is all about requires us to wrestle with these big questions earnestly sincerely and deeply and if we're lucky we're lucky that means we come out the other end transformed how beautiful is that how wonderful is that we come out the other end transformed wow you've changed you've changed you've changed so much I can hardly recognize you you're so beautiful I can even see the light coming out of your eye what happened to you where have you been what have you been doing I want what you've got please over the next few days pay attention when you have a few minutes and to to take a look and see which story you're telling yourself about your own life the life you're living because it's so amazing how these stories can change these stories can change so dramatically Your Own Story can change so dramatically that's my whole point so dramatically that you can't even believe it yourself that's what's so thrilling and exciting and inspiring compelling and so Faith Phil happy to take some questions if anybody has any yes I can read the first question and whoever has a question please write them in the chat window at the bottom of your Zoom window and I will read them out loud the first one is from Adam and he is asking I have a question about what point is this about us letting go on our own and seeking out help from others about both it's by doing whatever we have to do to let go whatever it takes whatever it takes sorry it's a variation of a question I asked before um last time you spoke about um just that you know about seeking out of spiritual Community which I have and um what I'm noticing is I I really I think that your answer really is and what you talked about is that the Allure of Spiritual Awakening is there more and more the peace Serenity and all of that but to the degree that that happens I have OCD obsessive compulsive disorder and I know it's just a label it gets stronger so there's like these deep feelings of peace and seron and connection to the Divine but there's also fear and Terror that's going on and it's like an addiction almost like in a separate entity that wants to hold on so the degree that I get there to the degree this wants to hold on even more and there's so much fear and Terror it's like um It's like a parad in the sense that I need to let go and be okay with letting go but that other part wants to fight stronger it's afraid of Letting Go and it doesn't want to you know and um I don't know what point is is this just between me and God or is it just help that I can get from other people I tried a medical approach you know psychological work I do spiritual practice every day so I don't know if it's just a matter of just more patience you know and acceptance or is there something else you know that needs to be done you know I'm I'm asking well you have to get to the point Adam where you feel where you know that your true self that your authentic self is more real more powerful and more authentic than the ego's fear and anger yeah which means that your your faith in your own true self your faith in your faith in your own spiritual identity has to become stronger than your belief in the feelings of your ego yeah so the ego doesn't give like I said when I was giving my talk the ego doesn't give up very easily Adam the ego will fight tooth and nail to the last to the last man it will not give up I will not die I will not give up I will not surrender I will not relinquish my power my position so you're just experiencing What A variation of that which we all experience and the way this the way this works I I believe in the end is that if we if if if when the ego starts acting up with these intensely unpleasant emotions for example that you're describing if we have the if we have the wherewithal to not allow ourselves to become intimidated or overwhelmed by those feelings not to worry about their presence to allow them to be there without being intimidated or worried about them or feeling we need to destroy them in order to feel okay they will get weaker but if you're afraid of your ego's feelings you never be free none of us will be when the ego starts to realize that we that we can't be had anymore we can't be manipulated we can't be controlled by it if it starts to weaken it power gets weaker and weaker and weaker and weaker and I think a very Wholesome Way to think about this is is by cultivating faith in your own the best part of your own self cultivating more faith in the best part of your own self so that you believe in its value much more than you do believe in the value of the small self even that the ego might be screaming in your face and screaming in your ear you know that's not who you really are and you you just don't you you can refuse to listen even if it won't shut up and you have to be of course as you were saying patient but it's not so much it's it's not so much an issue of patience as it is a faith in yourself I guess just gonna say I guess it's kind of like a catch 22 for me is like I I had the Insight I had the experience I've had the revelation but what happens is that many times that fear and Terror you know it's like I'm in heaven but at the same time I'm experienc like this psychological burning feels like a psychological hell and it becomes dominant actually feels like there's a there's an entity I'm being psychically attacked you know so knowing that so it's like as I said to the degree that I go there to that degree it gets stronger so the question is is like well how can I do it like how can I let go when I can't let go that's the issue I know but you have you have to if you want to be free you have to be spiritually heroic so you know there these scenes of the Buddha on the night of his Awakening and Christ was tested these guys were tested they were spiritually tested by lust and fear and and the strongest feelings would they would they back down they didn't waver in the face of overwhelming lust and overwhelming rage and anger and fear and all the rest of it so I guess I'm in good company very good you are well said well well I would my answer would be choose to be in that good company in other words take which means resist the reasonable temptation to see your own existential challenges right now in a psychological context because if you see these existential challenges and a metaphysical context in a Mythic context and in a metaphysical metaphysical context you can deal with them very differently so this my simple heartfelt instruction to you is to have more is to cultivate more faith in your in the best part of your own self and allow that faith in the best part of your own self to be what's going to get you through this not by finding some way to to get the other voice to shut up or to calm down yeah yeah because as long as you're afraid of it you sound like you're a little bit afraid of it as long as you're afraid of it they'll be able to get you but if you get to that point where you're not afraid of it anymore it doesn't mean that you enjoy its presence or uh find uncomfortable but when that when that part of you starts to know that you can't be had anymore that you are that you have more faith in your true self sooner or later it's going to give up I think hope it doesn't get a lot worse before it gets better but where Adam where is where would the thought like that come from obviously mind hold it hold it slow down the mind doesn't exist the Mind talks through a vehicle called the ego yeah so where is thoughts like that come from that that's that's an intimidating thought your eego came came up to intimidate you you your ego came up with a thought like that so it could intimidate you I guess it's because of the experience that it feels like I'm getting worse yeah feel all kinds of ways it's like the subconscious stuff is it's surfacing it's bleeding through the conscious mind no I get what you're saying I've had all kind of dreadful experiences myself and feelings I know what you're talking about yeah but uh that what you just said came from the worst part of you yeah yeah you're right because if you believe that then you're then you'll be afraid and as long as you're afraid of this part of yourself you're not going to be able to get out from under it but the way to get out from under it is once again to believe and to cultivate faith and more faith and more faith and more faith and trust in the best part of yourself that already exists and put all your faith in that alone that will carry you through I promise you you've got to do it I can't do it for you understand and that means at times it's going to be difficult it's going to be very difficult for all of us who are going to face difficulties which is fear is one of those difficulties and all kinds of other possibilities are on the horizon but but in the end you know for a realizer real elzer puts all of his eggs in one basket and puts all of his faith in the what my Guru called that friend we can never see and and I don't I don't know how you familiar you are with my teachings but one one thing I teach very much is the practice of of no relationship so you want to try and have no relationship with these negative voices negative parts of the self let's say the negative voice shows up and starts blabbing in your face threatening you trying to frighten you and intimidate you you don't need to react you don't need to respond you can be aware of it but you can choose you can choose you can choose to have no relationship with it and if you have no relationship with it you won't become frightened you'll just stand your ground and as I said if you can do this successfully eventually it's going to back down yeah as long as as these negative voices know they can intimidate you they that's that's what they live for with the thrill of intimidation the thrill of dominance but if they know you can't be had they're going to give up sooner or later now pray on someone else and there's a tendency to want to fight it you know and I know I can't do that well I'm telling you how you can fight it by believing in the best part of yourself yeah have to make that an hourly practice I'd say I say every second every second of the day yeah we and I'm not telling you something that I don't do myself we all have to do this yeah we all have to fight the good fight if we want to be free okay thank you very much be strong thank you and um and last thing just a bit of friendly advice you should you don't need to you shouldn't keep repeating that you have have a OCD or whatever you were calling you yeah because that that just makes makes it more real I know it became has like became it has its own identity Now understand stops so if if you're ready to be finished with you should stop saying it also yeah okay I understand thank you we want to we want to all try to be exemplars of healing and Liberation right yeah so act healed and act liberated be liberated and be healed which is more it's more of a ultimately it's a metapos rather than a particular feeling yeah which takes a lot of courage to do it but you just cultivate the courage and do it then it'll get you get you through this yeah thank you very much thank you Adam I'm rooting for you thanks the next question is from Fred he is saying I was touched by the moment you dare to let go of needing Security in your knowledge or your idea I'm not ready to stand free and voice my truth my true self to surrender to your spirit identity I felt already for years that I my experiences have convinced me that I can feel called to verbalize a new spiritual vision that combines a Humanity bring pulled into a new deep context of becoming a galactic Humanity that is in contact with higher evolved cultures that have gone through their own transformation that is connected to a New Horizon of self- knowledge and Transcendence of death and doubtless experience that our reality is spiritual in nature which also brings the conviction that death is not real until I have that as inner Clarity I need for my own security before stepping into the unknown position of standing from for my truth sounds good Fred uh wait yeah uh yes perhaps it's a little complicated but I I never I didn't notice what did you say I said I did not notice I'm [Laughter] joking well in a sense that but I but I feel what I was touched by was uh when you said in a sentence when are you ready to get yeah to to really stand in your truth exactly and which then means also that you you stand for an kind of inner conviction that has grown let's say in your in your inner real but it's very different than let's say the the the the conviction of of your culture and So you you're voicing something really different and to do that is is you need courage you know you can and so I very much so very much so so I feel I feel many many people at this moment uh could already step up if they would have let's say more uh inner support but perhaps also outer support from people that are part of their uh their own groups and there are so much more people that know that we live in a spiritual uh reality and that know that in a sense sense our own fears and our uh lack of perhaps inner Unity is kind of holding us back by to to make the jump in a certain sense to stand well I think we are just on the wrong path and to say that you will be that's the fear you will be blown away by many people who defent their own truth because they feel also so much in doubt whether their side is right so there's there's this huge level of confusion kind of holding us in our uh in our untruth it's called postmodernism that's yeah that's a very short definition but most people are there yeah and also in Holland where you live they don't like tall poppies they cut them down what did you say in Holland where you live they don't like tall poppies they like to cut them down so people stand say people who stand for their conviction in public will be chopped chopped down in Holland do you think that's a Dutch that's a Dutch situation well that's what well no I don't think it's only Dutch but I I don't think it's only Dutch but it's particularly Dutch and the Dutch told me that themselves they don't like anybody standing up too tall and I I also would love you to speak on what do you think of what is is why is America so let's say behind Israel when they're doing such gruesome stuff it breaks my heart Fred I can't I can't bear it every day it breaks my heart okay that's what I feel too okay thank you it was really wonderful to uh to deepen my own contemplation together with you thank you Fred nice to see you thank you I have no more questions Andrew no more questions so everybody's in the questionless state which is the best state to be in very good so we'll can sit for a minute together and then we can say good night or good morning whatever whatever it is thank you everybody