Freedom is a Choice

Hello everybody, nice to see you all. Sorry for the delay but my lost internet here briefly. But I'm back now and that's what's good. So, today we're going to talk about my favorite subject. Many of you have heard me speak about this before and um it's important. And it relates to the question of whether the experience of inner freedom or a spiritual liberation is a choice or not. Do we have a choice if we want to be free or not? And um I think you all know that I'm quite convinced that there is that we do have a choice. But um a lot of people feel and I used to feel myself that freedom was a a sought spiritual freedom was a sought for experience of higher emotions that had nothing to do with choice. It was just uh a spontaneous gift from God that we may or may not have earned. And that the only real spiritual freedom was that kind that was pure only purely a spontaneous gift from the absolute principle. Anything else was just came from the workings of the mind and ego. That's what I used to think and a lot of people still feel still feel that way. But I've been thinking about this for almost 40 years and I've come to some very different conclusions about how this all works. I'm firm a in the fact that choice is a big part of being of being means to be free in the long run. And as many of you are well aware, many people have brief glimpses of samadhi, of higher states of consciousness, of spiritual freedom, of enlightenment. But, uh, it seems to stick for very few people. Many people taste it or seem to get it, experience a visitation from the absolute, experience the exhilarating thrill of inner freedom, of spiritual freedom, but don't manage to hold onto it for very long. And to many of us, to many spiritual seekers, live in the context of, uh, dwelling upon memories of short-lived experiences of higher consciousness, longing for those experiences to return again, and suffering as a feeling of, uh, of loss and, uh, dis- dis- disillusionment. And I think this is this is this this is the case for many people who seek for enlightenment. Now, what's very interesting is if we say, "Well, the experience of awakened awareness, the experience of enlightened consciousness, the experience of inner freedom, is not dependent upon merely upon this higher higher principle of this God principle. It maybe has everything to do with the position we choose to take in relationship to our experience." What I like about that is it puts the responsibility for enlightenment on our own shoulders. Is enlightenment is a strange is a strange is a strange word, you know. "Are you enlightened?" It's a very difficult question to ask, and it's a very difficult question to answer. Um since I'm in the enlightenment business, this is this is this is what I do. The question I have to deal with all the time. But uh the question kind of uh conspires the kind of question is he enlightened, is she enlightened? Are they always dwelling in the bliss of God consciousness? Are they permanently free from suffering? Are they realized to a state of perfection? Have they utterly transcended all human imperfection in in the in the context of the state of illumination? Or are they still still at times merely human? And uh I've come to the conclusion that the enlightenment is a tricky business. And for most truly illuminated individuals who are able to sustain their awakening for a period of years and decades and lifetimes I think in the end it's more to do with the the choice they've made in relationship to their own experience rather than living in a state living in a state of awake spontaneity all the time. And how this works is very interesting. Usually when we seek, we are This was true for me, I'm sure it was true for most of you. And when we're in the process of being seekers, we're looking for we've read about God consciousness, we've read about enlightenment. We've read about the experiences of the great realizers. They all seem to be describing the same thing, so it must be real. So we hear about these glorious, magnificent intoxicating, ecstatic experiences these great realizers have had. And what they're describing sounds so amazing, so absolutely life-changing, that we want to have a taste of it ourselves. I certainly did. And um then we usually do all the things we need to do to seek for these kinds of experiences. And if we stick to our guns, if we don't give up, if we stick to it, we usually sooner or later have an amazing experience, which confirms everything we've read about. But as I was saying earlier, it usually doesn't stick around that long. I've had so many people with me on retreats over the years in the midst of the intensity of the of the retreat setting who I don't know waking to enlightened awareness in a very powerful way and were in an ecstatic state of samadhi for days on end. And they were utterly convinced that um they were perma- they were in a state of permanent illumination, permanent enlightenment. And in all those cases, it wasn't true because although they were temporarily enlightened, these experiences temporarily enlighten us. Most of them fell back to Earth within a matter of hours, days, weeks, or months. And the returning back to Earth after flying so high is often quite painful and quite frustrating and confusing. So, uh the way I like to teach you many maybe you heard me say these things before. I feel that these experiences that are bestowed upon us, if we're lucky enough to have them, give us glimpses into the ultimate nature of reality. The spiritual experience is like a glimpse. It's like a clear experience of clear perception about the ultimate nature of reality and these expe- it's a experience. It's quite convincing. And the question I'd like to ask people often is how many of these kinds of experiences do we need to be convinced that enlightenment is real? Is once enough? Or do we need Is twice enough? Or do we need 20 repetitions or 100 repetitions? Because these experiences are we as we go from experience of duality to non-duality, to relative reality to absolute reality. When you take the way you make the flip from duality to non-duality to relative reality to absolute reality, it's quite a shock cuz the world looks very different. You look different, your mind looks different, your experience of life looks different. Everything looks different. It's like suddenly you're on the mountain top and you can see everything so clearly. And um And one of the one of the important qualities of these kinds of experiences is the when we make the flip from relative reality to absolute reality is the certainty is the sense of the certainty that this is what I'm experiencing is more real, more authentic, more true, more genuine than anything else I've ever experienced in my life. This is more real. Compared to this this level of compared to this level of reality, everything I've ever experienced in my life seems unreal and ephemeral, meaningless, superficial. So a true seeker of course wants to live in in in alignment with this deeper state of deeper perception we awaken to when we awaken to absolute reality. So the question I ask people as I'm asking all of you also tonight as we're together, how much how many of these kinds of glimpses when we take the the leap from relative reality to absolute reality, from duality to non-duality. How many of those kind of flips do we need to experience to become convinced what the truth is? Cuz you know, many people have these have these experiences more than once, but they live in a state of doubt. Did that really happen? Was it really true that I imagined the whole thing? And you can understand if that's only happened to us once, you can understand why it would be plausible or understandable to that we we identify with our ego's concerns. Was it real? Maybe it was Maybe I just imagined the whole thing. But if this has happened to you 10 times, and you're still doubting it, you still need more convincing. What is it going to take? How many of these kinds of experiences do we actually need to be absolutely convinced that enlightenment is real, that absolute reality is more valid than relative reality? Absolute reality is more real than relative reality. Because it's that simple flip where we get again certainty. Cer- it's it's it's it's an experience of certainty. It's very It's truly a truly realized, genuinely realized spiritual master is someone who has certainty about the ultimate nature of the real. They always know the difference between relative reality and absolute reality. And this their certainty is coming from their their conviction about the ultimate nature of that which is ultimately ultimately real, absolutely real. That's what gives them their the source That's what the source of their charisma and their spiritual self-confidence comes from that absolute certainty. And that certainty is is intoxicating and very powerful. It becomes the source of spiritual spiritual power. But uh it's rare. It's rare to meet an individual who has absolute certainty about the difference between relative reality and absolute reality and relative reality and uh uh it's very rare to find someone who's very certain about the distinction who's not crazy. Because there are a lot of people who are very certain about these things, but they can also be quite deluded. And as I'm sure you're all well aware, the spiritual marketplace is pregnant with many kinds of deluded spiritual delusions of all kinds, including in in the forms of different kinds of teachers and teachings. But to find spiritual certainty is certainty about the difference between relative reality and absolute reality, duality and non-duality, and someone who's definitely not crazy, someone who actually feels more sane than most people. This is what we're looking for. And So, to follow along with this inquiry, how many of these kinds of moments do we need to have for us to achieve a state of inner certainty ourselves? And that's the question. Is there Is there Is there Is there Is the presence of a very intense experience of spiritual feelings? Is that Is our certainty dependent upon the presence of particular feelings? Is absolute reality absolutely real just because we feel only when we feel it? I'll repeat that. Is absolute reality absolutely real only when we feel it? Or when we don't seem to be able to feel it, is absolute reality still absolutely real? This kind of thing. So, the way I think about this, the way I try and teach is that I try and help people to have enough of glimpses to be able to develop a little bit of certainty. God is real. God exists. Absolute reality is supreme. I know it because I've experienced it enough times to be absolutely certain that it is more real, more substantial than relative reality. And it's that certainty we emerge the we emerge to this kind of certainty have become to foundation of the ground of our liberation, our potential for liberation. And certainty of course is a dangerous thing. Because everybody's afraid of being wrong. But a genuine realizer, a genuine master is absolutely certain about the difference between relative reality and absolute reality. Duality, non-duality, they don't care what anybody thinks because they know in their heart of hearts what's more real. And their what I call their spiritual self-confidence comes from that certainty. And then people may might mock them or laugh at them or humiliate them or whatever they try to do, it doesn't make any difference. So uh So if you think about what I'm saying is kind of interesting if you say, "Well, maybe the issue here in terms of my aspiration for enlightenment, my aspiration to awaken to enlightened awareness is maybe not dependent upon the presence of a particular feeling state necessarily. But it's dependent upon do I have certainty? Cuz spiritual self-confidence comes from certainty. So I do I do I have absolute certainty in the absolute nature of the absolute? Or do I am I still plagued by doubt? And the goal, at least in the way that my guru taught me, is the goal is to become doubtless. That mean doubtless and being certain is the same thing. Now, we have to remember that of course to be very uh informed by post-modern thinking and informed by integral thinking, it's considered to be foolish to be absolutely certain of anything. There is the absolute certainty is considered to be uh a dangerous thing. It's a sign sign of kind of pathological narcissism or some other kind of mental illness. Which may be true in a lot of in a lot of circumstances, but it's not true in relation to spiritual realization, especially if it's real. And what's so extraordinary about spiritual realization, awakening to enlightened awareness, is that um the object here that we're speaking about is awareness. It's is the nature of awareness itself. So, what we're speaking about is not an object. Non-duality is not an object that it can be seen. It's the nature It's the nature of reality. It's the ultimate nature of reality itself. It's not an object that can be seen by a subject. It's a dimension of reality that exists at all at all places at all times under all circumstances. Everywhere It exists everywhere and nowhere. But it cannot be transformed into a mind object. Now, we're getting more into the love dimension of uh intuitive knowing. It's kind of knowing that comes from the mind toward the mind stream. In line where it emerges when we transcend the mind stream and then I will awaken to this intuitive capacity for deeper knowing, deeper feeling, deeper gnosis. It's not It's not It's not rational. It's transrational. And transrational certainty, transrational knowing is what I'm speaking about. So, once again, how many glimpses of absolute non-duality do you have to experience to to come upon the kind of certainty, immovable certainty that I'm speaking about? Now, I think it's a matter of karma, also. Karma, which in this case would be spiritual readiness. Because most people aren't ready to go this deep off the for a long time. In lifetimes, maybe. This is this is this is the way this is the way reality works in this dimension is very different than ordinary time and space. So, it's your capacity for certainty what you can know with that what you can't see. Certainty for that what you can know through your intuition, with your awakened intuition for that what you can't see, smell, taste, or touch. It's very dicey because the world we live in all the time is very rationally oriented, materialistically instructed, electively. So, it's the certainty here. And so, try to think as I'm speaking about your own capacity for this kind of certainty because I I'm quite convinced that your our my capacity for long-term strong, steady, indestructible enlightenment is dependent upon your capacity, our capacity for absolute certainty. And keep in mind that the ego is terrified of this kind of certainty. This kind of certainty scares the ego to death. Is it Is the ego Is the ego knows that it will be the death of It will It will be its mean it's death. So, so in the way that I try and share these ways of thinking about enlightenment, I try and make the case that I'm trying to make right now that absolute the the revelation of absolute reality by the absolute nature of absolute reality exists in another dimension beyond time. But the goodness, truth, and beauty that we is revealed to us through that kind of revelation transcends any other kind of human experience. Like any kiss from God, it's the most beautiful, intoxicating, inherently and instantaneously liberating kind of knowing we can experience that changes absolutely everything. It really does. It really does. It really does. So, I've felt for a long time that if we're if we If we're lucky enough to experience the grace of these kind of transcendental moments, do we have this the human the necessary humility to take responsibility for what we for what we've seen? Do we have the humility and the earnestness to take responsibility for what we've seen. Because each time you have a glimpse of absolute reality you're seeing into the ultimate nature of all things. Which is a rare gift. It's a rare glimpse into truth. It's like seeing seeing the ultimate secret that exists beyond time. And a weak mind is person won't have the courage to take responsibility for those kind of moments. They'll be too scared of the implications. Whereas a strong person will feel spiritually inspired and spiritually compelled to take responsibility for those kind of moments. And I think the only way most of us can make genuine deep meaningful purposeful spiritual progress is by cultivating the soul strength necessary to take responsibility for these kinds of moments. One step at a time, one step at a time, one step at a time. This is this is how we can become truly enlightened men and women. It takes courage, it takes guts, it takes inner resolution and cognitive sacrifice. You have to be willing to give up a lot of falsehoods in yourself and in the world that you've come from. The cultural context you emerge from. There's so much that we see as being false that we have to give up. And the more falsehoods you give up in terms of what you've learned and how you were conditioned the more you have to become a different kind of person. A liberated soul in the connected in the complex world. It's a big deal. It's a very big deal. Most people aren't looking for liberation anyway. They just want to be happy. They just want to be happy. Liberation is much deeper than that, much more serious. So, do we feel Do you feel I know I do. Do you feel a need within yourself to be responsible for these glimpses of God consciousness? Do they mean something mean mean that which is so important that you hear you need to be responsible for what they mean? Now, what does it mean to be responsible? It means that if you imagine Let's say you imagine someone in your life Whatever your vision of enlightenment is, whoever you think is truly the real McCoy. Take to choose whatever you want to choose, it's up to you. But whoever you believe I honestly believe and respect as being truly illuminated in a serious, significant, and meaningful way. All the things you'd expect from them on a human level is what you begin to will begin to expect from yourself. Because now your karma your karmic trail that you are leaving has to be has to be an expression of your not only your broken humanity but now your illuminated soul, your illuminated heart. You have to be responsible for what does that look like? And it looks It looks like whatever you think it should look like. We each make your own choices here. But whatever you think it should look like is what you should look like. You should make the effort to look like, and that means the minute we have to start making an effort to look to live up to our own values, to live up to our own values, to live up to our own values, to live up to our own values, to our own spiritual convictions, then the game of life gets a lot more serious. It becomes a lot more demanding. It becomes more profound. And what's beautiful about this point I'm trying to make here is to just to state to repeat the obvious. These are your values and not values that have been imposed upon you from anywhere outside yourself. It's what you already think. So, if you think you believe that an enlightened person should behave like behave X, Y, or Z, then you want to begin to live up to those ideals yourself. Now, this this I realized this very quickly because I became a teacher, a guru very quickly overnight in 1986. Everybody was looking at me like I was the Messiah in those days. I'm not I'm not kidding. People saw me as a messiah-like figure. You know, my imperfection. So, I was very aware that what I did and the way I did things was being watched and people were judging me according to their own ideals and beliefs about what enlightenment looked like. Now, the way that I think about this, I don't think these experiences are ends in themselves. These glimpses of absolute reality, I don't think they're an end in itself. The way that I think about it, I think these these glimpses are means to an end. They are These are moments of grace that bestow upon us this the spiritual vision, the ultimate vision, the absolute vision of reality. I believe so, we we will be spiritually inspired to live the Dharma as ourselves in this crazy world. I believe these moments are to repeat not ends in themselves. Not oh, this is the this is it. This is the whole thing. You say, no. This is a brief this is a brief glimpse about about the ultimate nature of reality which is meant to inspire you to give you the spiritual strength to live a to live a better life. To live a more meaningful life, more purposeful life. To live the Dharma transparently, authentically radically and completely in your three own imperfect body, mind, and soul. It's almost like you could say that it's the these are moments of spiritual seduction when the absolute spirit seduces us through her undeniable glory to submit to her her will and her grace, so to speak. And that's where we realize we're not living this life for our ego anymore. We're living this life to have, get, and become for ourselves. Thousands of living this life for a much bigger reason which we now discovered when we awakened absolute reality. Oh, this is not my life. I see this is a This is a gift. This this life is not meant for me. It's not meant for me to work out my problems. I'm really done untying my karmic knots. It's about It's about the whole universe. My life is about the whole universe. It's not just about me. I don't count. I don't really matter. But the evolution of the interior of the universe really does matter. And if I'm awake, I have I'm I'll be in a very very very precious position to be able to contribute to the evolution of the interior of the universe. I'll be willing to I'll be in a position to do something meaningful, purposeful important that has inherent meaning and inherent purpose. This is the death of the small self and the awakening to the biggest perspective that there is cosmic consciousness. So, to repeat the question I asked a little while ago, how many of these kinds of experiences do we need to become absolutely convinced about the absolute nature of absolute reality? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 20 30 40 50 At which point do we say, "I've got it. Thank you. This is enough." Because the reason we don't want to say, "Thank you, God. I got it." is we don't want to have to be responsible from that moment on to the absolute. But maybe we we might remember we might we might wake up with a headache. Or maybe our husband or wife said something rude to us last night and we might be struggling with uh kind of unresolved trauma or something. It might not feel so good the next day. God, I was so inspired last night. I don't feel inspired right now. I I got to keep God waiting. Because the reason we don't want to say yes to it is because then like we that means our time is up. And it means time's up. We can no longer be a jerk or we can no longer play play being an ignorant fool anymore. That's the point we consciously give up the right to be an ignorant selfish fool because of our experience of illumination. So, because of our experience of illumination, we've given up the right to be an ignorant fool, which is our liberation. You will discover that most most people are so identified with their ego's feelings that they're scared to death of be giving of giving up the right to be a jerk. Cuz the ego feels, "Look, I'm sorry, Andrew. I've had a hard time. I'm still struggling. And I can't give up the opportunity I can't give up I can't give up the right to be a jerk yet. I need a little bit more opportunity. So the ego's afraid of giving up the right to be a fool and you're a damn fool. So when we say yes now I know now I now I'm convinced now I know everything I need to know for the rest of time for the rest of time the rest of eternity I I've seen what I need to see. I know what I need I know what I need to know. And then the idea that then everybody is forever. That's the game we're playing here and this is when it gets very real forever. It means I don't need I don't need to have another experience like this. If it comes I'll be happy that it comes. I'll welcome it. I will appreciate it and be very grateful but my liberation is no longer dependent upon any more of these experiences because now I know what I need to know. And I'm willing to stand and I'm willing to stand in all my imperfection to be true to what I've realized here. No matter what it takes. And so you see this is this where this whole issue of choice becomes involved because at a certain point if you become spiritually convinced about the ultimate nature of the absolute this is where your capacity to live the life of a of a stoic in many ways comes online. This is when you begin to fight the good fight and take responsibility for your own crazy mind crazy emotions and insanity. We we make the decision we're going to be we're going to become sane illuminated beautiful people. That's why we're here in this world to become beautiful people. The only way the only way we way we know what God looks like is because we because we know how we look. So the the to repeat the ego doesn't like to cut off. It doesn't like to give up the opportunity to be self-indulgent and lost and confused. Say no, I'm willing to give up I give up my excuse for being lost and confused. It doesn't mean I won't be lost and confused on occasion, but I'm giving up the right to let myself be lost and confused. Means no means no matter how bad it gets and it will get bad again, believe me. Life is tough. I no longer have a right to be completely lost anymore. Means I always have to know who I am and where I am. What I'm doing here, what this is all about. I'm going to be responsible for that and become an example of what that means in my life in the way that I live it. And I don't need another experience to give me that confidence. I have the confidence already. Thank you very much. Not my will be done, but thy will be done. Thank you. Then we can live or start to live with an attitude of gratitude. An attitude of gratitude will experience humility, gratitude. Uh sense of great gravitas. Life is not a game. Life is not a joke. Life is not an accident. Then we feel an obligation, the obligation, spiritual obligation. I'm speaking about this so it can make beautiful, dignified people out of us. Without a sense of obligation, there's no there's no way for dignity to reveal itself. Then when we feel a spiritual obligation to be the best the best version of ourselves we can be, not for ourselves, but for the sake of life itself and sake of the evolutionary process. That's when something's really happening. That's when our spiritual life comes alive. With its meaning and significance. Sometimes it's hard to be true everything that I'm saying. That's why it's so valuable because it is hard. So it's hard to be an authentic person, it's hard to be real. It's hard to live with courage. It's hard not to be a victim or a victim. It's hard to be true. All these things are still hard, but so what? That's the message that we get when we only glimpse the absolute nature of reality. The absolute nature of absolute reality, this is what we find ourselves compelled to do. Compelled to be true. And the more we willing to put the work make whatever effort is necessary to be true, our spiritual conviction just gets stronger, our spiritual self-confidence gets stronger. Because because the more we the more the more we live a spiritual life in earnest, the more we become convinced of our own authenticity. When you become convinced of your own authenticity, assuming you're not deluded and crazy, which is a big assumption. But uh assuming with small chance that you're not deluded and you're not crazy, there's always a small chance that's true. If you are then you start to become the real thing, you got to start to become an authentic article. And it's because of your own choice to be true. Your own choice to be true. So at the be the beginning it's not a choice because we don't know what we don't know anything about all this. At the beginning it's not a choice. But after we've had enough experience enough of these enough of these deeper experiences, we realize, "Oh my god, it is a choice, and it always has been a choice. I just didn't know it." Now that I've discovered it is a choice, I'm scared to death, but I know it's the only right thing to do is to do in the end. In the end, it's the only right thing there is to do. Anything else is a diversion and just a waste of time. Anything else is just a diversion and waste of time. At a certain point, when we become spiritually mature, either we do it or we don't. The ego always has a lot of excuses about why it's not ready yet. And believe me, your ego will always scream, "But I need more time." And the ego might need more time, but the point is the ego's needs are not the most important thing anymore. So, it's it is higher needs become more important than the ego's needs. Say, "I'm sorry, the time's up." Time's up, baby. So, try and wrestle with these ideas I'm I'm bringing up because they're important. They can change your life. They changed mine. But, um It's rare for people to have the courage to really do this for real. I mean, if you're going to do it for real, it means the way you're thinking about it is forever. Not I'll I'll try this for a while see how it feels. Do you like to get married? Say, "Well, I don't know you that well yet. Let's Let's Let's date for a while. I'll see if I like you in a few weeks. And the beautiful thing when I'm the beautiful part what's beautiful about this way of looking at this process is that uh it puts the power of the outcome in our in our own hands. We we get to be largely responsible for the outcome. It's a beautiful thing. And it's not just a matter of being lucky or unlucky. It's a matter of how much integrity, spiritual integrity, do we really have? Cuz remember little knowledge is a dangerous thing. So, the more we know, the more you learn about the way the ego works, and the more you learn about the absolute nature of absolute reality, you start to realize that uh a big part of you doesn't want to do this. The most important part of you, your soul, your true self, your authentic self, wants to do this. But there's so many parts of you that don't want to do it. At a certain point you have to get to the point where you have to really disregard the part of yourself that doesn't want to do this and only give attention to the part of you that does. That's when you're a true renunciate. The freedom is a choice. But I like I but I just retraced some of the things I said. I I cuz I want to be fair about this. So, just say at the beginning, it's not true. We don't have a choice at the beginning cuz we You know what the choice is all about. We don't know the territory. But as we learn about the territory, we start to learn, "Oh, I see. This is this is serious business. I've been screwing around for 20 years. I've never really taken it seriously. When am I going to take it seriously?" So, I think I made my point. And finally, I'm going to I'm going to finish my talk, but I wanted to just add this one piece, which I've been trying to add as I've been speaking lately, is group try to try and keep in mind something that's very hard to remember, which is that the terrain of the territory that begins to reveal itself when we awaken to non-duality is very mysterious, but it's transcendental territory. It's mind-transcending territory. So, when you're in that territory, when your soul is then venturing into that territory, it feels very familiar and very easy and obvious. But uh most people can't remember what they knew when they were awake to enlightened awareness. Most people forget what happens once they descend from those lofty heights, they forget everything that they knew. And this is mad. This this can be people who who've just learned about awakening, just this is just a new experience, and people who know have been known about it for decades. Most people cannot hold on to that consciousness of gnosis. Most people forget they forget about it. Within seconds after they've had experience, they fall back to earth, they don't remember it. Not available to them anymore. So, this only works if you're actually in touch with the consciousness itself. You have to remain clear You have to do anything and everything you have to do to remain cognizant of the consciousness of gnosis in order to remain connected to actually what we're talking about here. Otherwise, it becomes very murky and very hard to remember. Why am I doing this? Why is this important? Oh, Oh, yeah, now I remember. And I find this one of the most scary and confusing parts of this whole process, especially being a teacher, I find very confusing. So many people awaken in a dramatic way and they are thrilled about their awakening experience. And then they forget about it. Within seconds, it disappears. We have to create the conditions in which this We have to all have to do what we need to do to create the the most perfect conditions in which in which this mysterious secret of gnosis, spiritual gnosis, will stick around longer so will stick around longer. Won't just vanish into thin air. You can only walk the path if you know what you're doing. You can only know what you're doing if you're in touch with the the actual territory itself. This requires enormous concentration. I always used to you know the uh You all probably know that the Buddha used to the original Buddha used to I don't really have to teach so good is all of his monks on a 3-month retreat every winter. And I always was was blown away with it. Can you imagine what it would be like to live with the living with the Buddha himself, the enlightened one? To just being physically near or so to such a being would probably be instantaneously enlightening anyway. All you'd have to do is sit near him and then sit in in the field of his grace to wake up. But not apparently not. Apparently he made he did the strict strict strict great discipline hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours of meditation. 3 months all day long with all day and all night every year to tighten up the fact so they remain connected with the absolute nature of the absolute. So if he and they were with the Buddha himself that might give us some indication of how much is required here. The enormous commitment and effort involved to stay awake. But the good news is everybody that once you may do make up your mind once your karma falls into alignment with this absolute principle I keep speaking about once you're on karmic karma falls into alignment with this absolute principle I'm speaking about. Everything I'm describing becomes fairly easy. Not because it's necessarily emotionally easy all the time but it's because you're not ambivalent with what you're doing anymore. You're not ambivalent about who you really are, what you're doing here. You're no longer ambivalent about the bottom line. Doesn't mean life won't be difficult or confusing but it means you're not fundamentally ambivalent anymore, which is where your all your spiritual strength and conviction comes from. I know who I am. I know why I'm here. I have no doubt. Very freeing. And you can get on doing what you need to do. And finally finally if you can do what I'm trying to describe to all of you you'll become enormously independent as a person. When you got this kind of self-confidence, this kind of spiritual self-confidence, it it awakens a kind of ferocious independence, which is very liberating. You won't be weak-minded anymore. So many people are weak-minded. They don't know what they think or why they think or what they think. It's important that we find a way to stand on our own two feet. In our own in our own souls, you know. So, if you have any questions about anything I've said, I'll be happy to try and answer your question. And if not, that's that's okay, too. If you have questions, please write them in the chat window that you find at the bottom of your Zoom window. And I will read them out loud and then open your microphone. Yeah, I have a first question here, Andrew. Okay. From Promote. He's saying, "Hi, Andrew. I'm very happy to see you again, and it renews the joy that this beautiful connection has brought in my short journey with you. Related to your sharing today, it seems that we move into this becoming coming from choiceless awareness of the absolute to focused clarity and integrity in each moment free of the perceived shortcomings or challenges of the relative self. This leads to freedom, which is a clear choice. Is this the right understanding? Another thing that strikes is the liberating self-confidence that comes about. And yet, if some small part seems to not want to accept this, how do we work with this?" Uh How do you work with the with the part of yourself that doesn't want to do this. Huh? Yes, and You take responsibility for what you're doing. Yeah, we have to learn to learn how to not to listen to the part of ourselves that doesn't want to do this. There's a part of you that wants to do it and a part of you that doesn't want to do it. At a certain point, whenever you're ready, you just have to stop listening to the part of us that doesn't want to do it. Because uh it's impossible to feel good all the time. Should we not do this because a small part of us doesn't want to do this? Huh? Once we realize what the stakes are and what we're actually doing, we just have we do what we need to do. We don't listen to the part of ourselves that doesn't want to do it. You stop listening. The The ego's like a big crybaby. The ego The ego is always a big crybaby because it can't have things its way. It doesn't want to give up any It doesn't want to give up its its attachments, bad habits, addictions, victimization, small-mindedness, narcissism. It doesn't want to give it up. So, we say, "Well, I'm going to do this whether you come with me or not. I don't really care." In In my way of thinking, the only thing that matters is that we actually succeed in this. We succeed. We succeed. We succeed. We succeed. Part of the path is painful and then struggling with the ego at times at times it can be very painful. We used to think the ego was our best friend, most intimate friend, and we discovered the ego is never an intimate friend. It's like saying goodbye to somebody we used to love. When we realize the ego does not have our best interest at heart. It can be painful to part ways with a part of ourselves we used to believe in and we don't believe in it anymore. And just because you stop believing in your ego doesn't mean your ego is going to give up. The ego only gives up when we stop listening to it. As long as you listen the ego will be very alive, very powerful, distracting. It's only when you stop listening to the ego it begins to fade out. It takes a lot of courage not to listen to it. It takes a lot of courage, a lot of spiritual discipline, a lot of self-knowledge and insight to really know how to do it. And so no matter what your ego says, it doesn't matter. No matter what the ego says, doesn't matter. Does that make sense? Yes, Andrew. It's It's been uh It's been a journey even even with the uh voices maybe uh they're amplified and as I think I stay with uh the practice uh it does tend to uh be not so amplified. Uh but it's there. It's not And so doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. You follow? Yes. If it doesn't matter now, it can not not not matter in the future also. But the minute we allow it to matter, we're thrown off the path of enlightenment to enlightenment. Path to enlightenment is very specific. It's all based upon ego transcendence. So, the minute we allow our egos' complaints to matter, we're thrown off the path. We're thrown back to earth. This is why we have to be very discriminating. We have to be very dispassionate about this with ourselves. This is why Chögyam Trungpa used to have a statement. He called it CCL. Have you heard of Chögyam Trungpa? He's a very famous American Tibetan lama. Very famous teacher. And he had a phrase called CCL. Which meant "couldn't care less." So, we have to practice dispassion with our own ego. Which is not an easy thing to do, but we have to learn how to be very dispassionate with our own ego. Which means I don't care. The reason we don't care is that we found something so beautiful, so meaningful, so gorgeous, so purposeful, so life transforming that we don't want to waste any time on anything that's only relatively real anymore. We just want to stick with that which is absolutely real. That from the from the perspective of that which is absolutely real, that which is relatively real is just a big distraction. It won't feel like a distraction from the perspective of relative reality, but from the perspective of absolute reality, it will feel like a a mere distraction. So, you want to put them grounded in the in the absolute position. If you're a real yogi, you're real aspect for enlightenment, you're going to ground in this absolute position. That which is relatively real is only relatively real. That which is absolutely real is absolutely real. Are the same thing. The problem is most of us live in a live in a relation to reality where most of our engagement with the mind and world is in the in the context of that which is relatively real. So, we're not used to these relative absolute distinctions. You know, we don't usually think about the way we live our life in the context of these absolute distinctions. We have to learn how to do that. Takes patience, effort, patience and time, practice. But, it's all doable. That's why spiritual practice and the commitment to to long-term success is so important. We have to be committed for the long term. Otherwise, it doesn't it doesn't work. Your ego's only going to give up if it if you if you can can convince your ego that you mean business and you're never going to you're never going to back down. Then the ego will say, "Okay, you win." "You're stronger than me." "Thy will be done. Not my will be done. Thy will be done." Cuz the Yeah, the ego sees it's not as powerful as you are. Now, that's when you start to awaken into enlightened awareness, right? So, you become really spiritually powerful, spiritually empowered. That's that's when the certainty begins to emerge that I was speaking about at the beginning. But, it's not easy. When it's easy it's easy, when it's not easy it's not easy and most of the time it's not easy, but just because it's hard so what? Cuz those things of greatest value in life to do are hard. You've all heard about the razor's edge. This is them don't describe me razor's edge. And I give you another question, Andrew. Sure. Okay. It's coming from Yvonne de Jaco. She says, "Hi Andrew. I have a lot of responsibility of raising three kids as a single mother and working multiple jobs to pay bills, etc. How can we attain a state of enlightenment when you have many obligations of responsibility to another human being? Is this all ego?" No. You have to do the best you can within the complexity of your karmic circumstances. We all do. So if you if you are determined to liberate your soul in the context of embracing the huge responsibility of being a mother with three children, you can do it. Doesn't mean it's going to be easy. It's probably very difficult, but you have to become You have to be very doubtless about your own certainty about about aspiring for this kind of liberated consciousness. Cuz one of one of the signs of liberation of spiritual liberation is the al- always trying to be bigger than than than than the challenge. Always being sp- emotionally, spiritually, and emotionally and intellectually bigger than the challenge you're facing. Even if a challenge you're facing can can be practically emotionally and intellectually overwhelming. Because you if you allow yourself to get overwhelmed by a challenge, you can be tempted to give up. But if you if you're very steady and you embrace a bit of stoicism you won't allow any of the challenges you're facing to be bigger than your spiritual embrace of reality, which is always going to be bigger and more uh embracing of the totality of reality. So, you have to always be your spiritual aspiration always has to be bigger than whatever whatever the challenge the relative challenges that you're facing in real life, which may be very real and very difficult. But don't allow but don't allow the the enormity of the challenges you're facing in relative reality ever appear to be appear to be bigger than the enormity of what you see when you when you awaken to absolute reality. The yes, what you're facing is an enormous challenge and very demanding. But you can still do it if you really want to. Who says you can't? It might be harder for you because you have you have more responsibilities, but so what? Thank you. That makes sense? 100%. Thank you. So so it requires a kind of stoicism. You know what that means? Yes. Means being tough means being tough tough minded and big hearted. Right. With with yourself. Tough minded and big hearted with yourself. And your relative circumstances will change over time. And you eventually will have more time to devote to this, I'm sure. The main thing is that you stick with it now even within the confines of the enormous responsibilities that you have. Don't turn away from it. Don't say I can't do this now. You I can you can also do this now to the best of your ability. Important thing is to stay connected. Stay connected. Always stay connected. Always stay connected. Always stay connected. Always put this first even even if it's just with your mind. Don't put don't push away liberate those liberation don't push away absolute reality into the future. And then you'll be in good shape. Yeah. Thank you so much, Andrew. Sure. The next question is from Ben and he doesn't have a microphone or a video. So I will just read it. I have realized that most of my spiritual drive was determined by the desire to escape suffering and the resistance to certain thoughts, states, feelings, etc. I now find having practiced for a long time to integrate and not resist my thoughts, feelings, and emotions that I no longer really have a drive to become enlightened as I no longer want to escape any state. There's no longing for one state over another. I have known blissful states. Should I push further to live in those permanently or is the empty stability the true self? Well, it depends on what you want. It it depends on what you want. I thought a lot about this kind of question that you're asking and I not everybody wants the same thing. Some people want Some people are more interested in a high level of emotional integration they are in in liberate transcendental liberation. I remember when I was working with a very famous spiritual psychologist once. I was working with him working on myself with him. And as I was observing him and observing myself, I started to notice that he was not very interested in transcendental liberation or enlightenment, but he was very much interested and invested in emotional integration. And he was very much aware of his emotional ups and downs from one moment to another and was very focused upon very much be connected with his feelings in a very conscious way from moment to moment. And he was more interested in being connected with the with his feelings from moment to moment in a very conscious way than he was in being liberated from them. And then I realized where I whereas I've always been interested more interested in transcendental awareness and liberation more than emotional integration. Doesn't mean I think I don't think emotional integration is important, but it's not as important to me as liberation is. I realized that it was very interesting we didn't want want the same thing. We actually didn't really We had different goals in terms of our development. But it's really up to you. What do you feel is more important to you? I'm uh I'm I'm in the category of a transcender. You know, I always have been. I don't apologize for it. I I I've just I've been so absolutely touched so deeply by these the revelation of transcendence that I've never been able to get I never gotten over it and I'm still haven't gotten over it. I don't think I ever will. So, we have to be true to our own souls' inclinations in relationship to this. What What do you feel is most important thing for you? What do you want more than anything else? Of course, all these things are of a of a piece in the end. They're all It's all part of the same territory. I mean, we're is speaking in a general way, but when you get more specific about it, it's not so so simple. You have to be true to yourself here. So, the kind of emotional integration that this therapist was practicing and was aspiring for to me to from my vantage point are very emotionally suffocating and and unbearable. Not because of not because I was trying to avoid these things, but because I just wasn't interested in it. And I think he felt very strongly that people like me were uh What's the What's the phrase? Um What about the phrase? Spiritual bypasser. I was spiritual bypasser. Guilty. But you have to remember, Ben, that my I have to give myself some credit here. There are five fundamental principles in my teaching. Basic The basic teaching principles, Dharma principles. And third The third basic principle is if you want to be free more than anything else, you have to be willing to face everything and avoid nothing. If you want to be free more than anything else, you have to be willing to face everything and avoid nothing. So. That's not something most people want to do. Most people want to face nothing and avoid everything. Is that helpful? Ben Ben is responding here saying, "Thank you. I thought I wanted enlightenment, but I'm not so sure now. Or perhaps my idea of enlightenment is changing as I get closer to truth. that itself is quite blissful but very subtly. I'm starting to feel subtlety is more valuable for me than the extremes. Well, the main thing that's important is the truth, whatever the truth is. The truth, whatever the truth is. And then there there is a next question from Ananda. Okay. She She is saying, "It's hard for me to orient to this message without love being the driver. But alignment is not some achievement, but more of a surrender to finally, and if possible, forever be of true and full service in an ever-expanding way." Beautiful. I'll sign up for that. Woohoo. Yeah. Different Different perspectives on the path. Yeah. I'll I'll drink to that. That sounds pretty good to me. This was the last question, Andrew. Very good. Very good. Very good. You know, just the last thing I want before we end it, the last thing I want to reiterate that I already said a couple of times is don't ask Please don't underestimate how um subtle all this is and how difficult it is to remain conscious of all this kind all these different dimensions of our experience that I'm pointing out here. But I appreciate everybody's focused attention tonight. I really I'm very grateful. And I look forward to seeing everybody as soon as possible. Much love to everybody. Thank you so much.