The Profound Paradox of Non-Duality

Nice to see you all. Welcome. So, I wanted to start with telling everybody a little story. I had a very interesting experience yesterday. And I wanted to share with you. I was sitting with Daniela who's the one who was just speaking to you. And I was telling her about my guru the great H.W.L. Poonja Poonjaji. This great spiritual master who I met in 1980 86. And we were speaking about him. And I was telling her that he was not an ordinary man. And after I said the words to her that he was not an ordinary man a glass which was sitting on Daniela's side table a big glass full of water exploded. And nobody had touched this glass. It just it just exploded seemingly no reason. We would for no cause. But it it it exploded the minute when I was mentioning his name and how extraordinary he was. And I was quite astounded by this. I've had other experiences since he's passed away of his presence which were remarkable. Mysterious metaphysical events that um challenge our conscious and unconscious materialistic assumptions in very dramatic ways. I wanted to share that with you. I don't know what to make of it. I can just tell you I saw it. I was a I witness. So, I can tell you this really did happen. I don't know what these things mean. We can only guess and speculate. But um he has communicated with me in mysterious ways before since his passing indicating to me that he was with me in ways that that were quite remarkable. So, I wanted to share that I thought you might enjoy hearing the story. There's not much anything more to that story, but it's uh intriguing. So, what I wanted to talk about to tonight is to do with the metaphysics uh the paradox of non-duality. Especially as it relates to the challenge of being a human being. And um I think it's going to be rather short talk cuz I don't have a lot to say about it at the moment, but I want to make one particular point. That um in relationship to the awakening to enlightened awareness in the whole subject of enlightenment and awakening to transcendental consciousness, there is a is a fundamental distinction that I always refer to which is a traditional distinction between relative reality and absolute reality. So, the awakening to the absolute absolute reality which includes everything that exists and everything that does not exist is that all-inclusive perspective. It's usually what is referred to as non-duality which means there's only one and not two. So, that perspective which includes the sum totality of all of reality which is becomes one perspective one truth one fundamental experience which interestingly enough unexpectedly and intriguingly always conveys with it brings with it as a free gift spiritual liberation. Which is quite remarkable. So, it if this this remarkable insight perspective experience of the sum totality of all of reality that includes everything and excludes nothing when we are lucky enough to receive it directly experience it directly directly cognize it directly know it simultaneous with the knowing of the sum totality of all of reality is the metaphysical experience of liberation of emancipation of indescribable inner freedom joy, happiness exaltation ecstasy, peace relief and release and so much gratitude. So, while non-duality is a state of consciousness that includes the sum totality of all of reality it also delivers with it the state of the state of consciousness called the liberation. And that's what's very important about it. That's the whole point. Sometimes when I hear people speak about non-duality, I think they're leaving out the liberation part. The liberation part is the whole enchilada. It's the most important part of it. It's not the the It's not just an experience of oneness. It's it's an experience of liberation unconditional radical absolute unimaginable liberation. That's the whole point. To be liberated to experience liberation. So, anyway what I wanted to speak about it tonight was the the relationship between having that kind of experience and having a deep enough experience of that kind that one becomes actually stabilized or grounded in that state of consciousness. Stabilized in that state of consciousness. And one mysterious compelling attribute of non-dual consciousness and non-dual awareness is the felt gnosis felt knowledge felt seeing and knowing of the presence and feeling of eternity. Eternity is that which is timeless and formless, beginningless and endless and eternal. So, it's the felt presence of of form the formless infinite nature of the ground of being which is infinite. And that which is infinite in in this context is also that which is absolute. That which is infinite is also absolute. So of course what happens in this kind of state of consciousness is this is is the realization, "Oh this is who I really am. This is who I've always been. I thought I was a unique individual Andrew Cohen for example in my case belong to a particular body mind personality existing in a particular time in human history the history of planet Earth. But then I in this from the state of consciousness we realize I was only a very small part of the sum totality of who I actually am. And my actual identity is the ultimate nature of reality. This is is the totality of everything that exists everything that does not exist. Everything. Which excludes nothing which is a one truth. Um So, the question is if I'm both absolute and relative if I'm both the sum totality of everything that exists and everything that does not exist I am the non-dual absolute incarnate in the form of this body mind and personality and that recognition I simultaneously recognize that while my true nature may be absolute and I'm without limit without beginning without end my finite form my body mind and personality definitely has a beginning and has an end and exists in time and is subject to change and suffering and death. So, what is the relationship between that that deepest and highest dimension of myself that's non-relative and absolute and that that that dimension of myself that's relative and finite? So, that's the paradox I wanted to talk about I want us all to think about. Because from an absolute from the perspective of that which is absolute the absolute is all there is. There is nothing else. But included in that which is absolute is also the whole world of relative reality which is relatively real. Absolute reality is absolutely real. Relative reality is relatively real. So, because absolute reality is absolutely real, that means it's more real. Absolute reality is more real has more substance more truth than relative reality which is only relatively real. But it's real because it's relatively real relatively real. So, what's the relationship between that which is absolute that that which is relatively real, which is my body, mind, personality, and your body, your mind, and your personality, and your true identity, which is unborn, uncreated, timeless, formless, beginningless, and infinite endless, and infinite, and eternal? What's the relationship between those two? Is there any relationship at all? And of course there is one. Which is long as there's two, there's a relationship. And there is a there is a definite distinction between relative reality and absolute reality. They're not the same thing. Even though they're made of the same stuff, they have different qualities. And so, what's the relationship between relative reality and absolute reality? Or to be concrete about it, what does it mean to be an enlightened or awakened human being who has access to non-dual consciousness, awareness of that which is absolute, and being a finite, vulnerable, fallible, imperfect, evolving human being? It's quite a distinction there. And of course the challenge of enlightenment, which enlightenment of course is many things, but it's but we can also basically say to state of consciousness. It's a higher state of consciousness than unenlightenment, of course. So, what's the relationship between this enlightened state of consciousness of the one who has access to this enlightened state of consciousness, and his or her very own ego, body, mind, personality? What's what's the relationship there? That's when things get That's when things get interesting because uh I think we can most people can agree on the nature of these higher states. Is there have been enough powerfully realized human beings over the millennia that have described it the same state of consciousness with similar attributes. So, we we know what enlightenment more or less feels like, looks like, what the experience is like. But there's not a lot of There's In terms of what the understanding of the relationship between relative reality and absolute reality, the relative self, and the absolute self, there's a lot of confusion about that. And even Jesus is in his last moments, who obviously was an absolute realizer. He was If If anything, he was an absolute realizer. He was struggling with this duality and this dichotomy before his death. Father, which is the absolute, why have you forsaken me? So, that was his his human self shaking under the weight of relative suffering. So, if he was struggling with this question, and he was a very extraordinary, spiritually powerfully realized being, I I think that means that we all have a challenge ahead of us, for those of us who are aspiring to awaken to enlightened awareness, and to be come aspire to become stabilized in the enlightened state of consciousness, and ultimately hope to aspire to become exemplars of the possible. This is These are important questions. So, one way I like to think about it, one way I would like to help you to think about this important question I'm bringing up, which is quite simple, at least intellectually it's simple, hard to live it. Which is Which is a from from the perspective of enlightenment, enlightened awareness, or of the absolute, there is uh there is the small self, the unenlightened self, is felt as a is felt We feel its existence in our body and minds, and personalities as that which is personal. That which is personal, that which is unique to me and me alone as a separate individual. I have my unique psychological experience, emotional experience, personal history, and feelings related to that, and you have your own. That which is personal to me is unique to me, and that which is personal to you is unique to you. So, in the under the weight of the powerful awakened to enlightened awareness, most people who have that kind of experience see through. Part of the experience of awakening to non-duality is is it's it's seeing through the illusion of the personal. It's It's It's a shocking recognition that the personal is just a veil, or it's just a sheath, or it's just a It's just a a layer. It's like a thin skin that ultimately has no substance. From the perspective of that which is absolute, from the from the perspective of absolute reality, the personal the layer of that which is personal is seen as being insubstantial. In In substantial to the point of being in If the experience is very powerful, it's in insubstantial all the way to the point of being absolutely unreal and fictitious. So, in our own experience, in your experience, in my experience, in our experience, we can um we can see how this works when we start paying attention in in our own inner subjective experience to the subjective nature of the small self, which is called the ego. And the ego feels a particular way. It tends not to feel very free, and most of the time not particularly happy. But it's a definitely it's a it's a it's felt in in relationship to the big self, it's experienced as being a small self, like a very small entity. A very small entity living in a very big space. And that small entity is called the personal sphere, personal domain. And that's what it feels like to be That's what it feels like for most people to be to exist. Most people's experience of consciousness and of reality rarely transcends this personal sphere. But for those people who have higher and deeper state experiences, which do transcend the personal sphere, they realize that who they really are infinitely transcends this personal sphere, this personal straitjacket. So, in the under the weight of the What's the What's the relationship between that which is absolute and that which is relative? And the And as it relates to these different selves, the challenge I find for most people is to go beyond the personal. How can we How can we How How can we express our enlightenment or our awakening to that which is absolute and not relative through this relative body, mind, and personality? And the way we can do that simply and directly, and profoundly, and powerfully is to transcend the personal domain, the personal dimension of being you. Transcend the personal dimension of being me to a significant degree. We don't have to transcend it absolutely, totally, or completely. But if we want our enlightenment, our awakened awareness vibration of this absolute reality to be able to express itself through us and as us, we have to learn how to transcend what I'm calling the personal sphere, the personal personalized identity, this personal feeling of being me. The personal feeling of being me. And find out what it might be like to be you free from this personal straitjacket, this personal sphere of me-ness that feels so small. So, I always encourage people not to to learn how to or to to to to strive to cease to personally identify so intensively with their experience. And in my teaching of evolutionary enlightenment, I have five fundamental tenants or five fundamental principles, but the fourth one is called God the process perspective and I encourage people to try to see their own experience in the context of an evolving universe. And to see that we are a very small part of a very big process that's in progress. And that this there's nothing in anything that you have ever experienced or ever going to experience that is truly personal and unique to you alone. In more ways in in many most ways, not in every single way, but in most ways, in many ways, we're all having the same experience. And not much of it is very personal or unique to me. More often than not, most of the time, we're having the human experience. We're not having a a unique personal experience. We're having the human experience and we're all having the same experience, but we all think that there's something particularly unique and extraordinary profound and miraculous about our particular version of this shared event. So, if we can learn how to see our experience as being the product of a cosmic process that's been evolving for 14 billion years, a very long time, if we we can begin as we would learn to how to use the process perspective to reflect upon our experience, we can begin to see that most not everything, but most of what we experience is not personal at all. It's deeply conditioned. Most of what everything, but most of what we experience is deeply conditioned. Probably 99% of what we experience is deeply conditioned. We're much more conscious robots than we might like to think might might like to believe. But if we can practice through mindful awareness, if we can practice paying attention to the impersonal, deeply conditioned nature of so much of what we experience and so many of the ways we react to what we experience, we can learn how through spiritual practice and practice of noble effort to see how impersonal and non-personal so much of what we experience and so much of the process so much of the experience of being human is really part of an impersonal is really expression manifestation expression of an impersonal process more than it is a personal experience. It seems like a personal experience and feels like a personal experience to people aren't paying really close attention. But as you awaken and you begin to pay closer attention to your experience, you start to see I am a process. My body mind and personality is a process that's part of a larger process. It's part of a larger process that's part of a larger process. It's all interrelated. And of course, if you've awakened to evolution, which is another exciting part of the journey of enlightenment in the 21st century, then you realize that this process that's part of a process that's part of a process that's part of a process that's actually going somewhere is on a journey of becoming and that's very exciting to realize that the impersonal process that we all are is on a journey of becoming. That's exciting, especially if you don't only just intellectually realize it, but if you experience it inwardly, if you have the experience of the feeling of that recognition, it's very exciting and very inspiring. But the the relationship between the question we're exploring is what's the relationship between relative reality, body mind personality, and absolute reality. And I'm saying that if we can learn to be less personally identified with the body mind personality that we are, we can find our way to a liberated state of consciousness. We can find our way back. We can find our way home. Now, this is easier said than done. Because what I've been calling this the personal self, the personal feeling of being me, the ego, feels so precious. It feels so precious, so important, so intimately who I am. Even though, as I've said many times so far in this call, when you wake up, you realize it was never who you really are. To repeat, when you wake up, you realize it was never who you truly are. But uh that's easy to forget. So, it's this feeling of being me, the small feeling of being me, that's God that we have to learn how to transcend and go beyond and leave aside then then alone for a long time. The part of us that feels hurt and wounded and traumatized and victimized, lonely, angry, misunderstood. It feels this need for for love and acceptance and recognition and affirmation. That part of ourself. It's the source of our suffering and what Eckhart Tolle calls the pain body and so on. We're talking about the same thing. So, the good news in all this is that the absolute the part of yourself that is related to absolute reality, your what's called the true self, your true self, doesn't have all these needs and unfulfilled desires and unhealed wounds. Because because of its eternal nature, it it is it has never been hurt, wounded, or traumatized and could never be. So, the solution to the human predicament from the perspective of the awakening to aligned awareness is always the same and it's always very simple and immediate and direct, which is to let go and transcend the small self. And you say easier said than done. I say it's easier said than done is true, but that's most people have a hard time doing that. So, all all I want to do is to explain this to all of you once again. I'm sure most of you know this already, but I wanted to lovingly encourage you to do it anyway. Because when you wake up to your true self, or your what I call your authentic self, you will see that your ego is nothing but a source of from the from the perspective of the true self, the ego is nothing but a source of pain and suffering and misery and attachment. And the and the the sooner we can give up it all the illusions that it is clinging on to, or what we recognize to be or we discover to be the illusions that the ego clings on to, the experience we get is imme- immediately is happiness, release and relief, joy, exaltation, uh liberation. It's immediate. So, the but you have you have you have to have this experience for yourself to take to believe in me. Otherwise, it's hard to believe it. The ego is saying, "This guy just doesn't get it. He doesn't understand. He doesn't get it. He doesn't understand. He doesn't He doesn't understand how hard this is for me." But I do get it. I do I know how hard it is. I know how hard it is. Do you know how good it is? How good how good it can be? That's the question. So, so I wanted to talk about this in a way that wasn't too esoteric. So, this I wanted you just to repeat to think of the two repeat this refrain of making beginning to make the effort to transcend what's fundamentally a painfully personal relationship to the experience of being you. What if your relationship to being you wasn't so personal? You can still be you. You still get to be you. You still get to have the same You still get to have the same body, the same mind, the same personality. Nobody wants to take it away from you. But could could you could you choose could you choose uh inspired by spiritual inspiration could you choose to have a different relationship with the experience of your body, mind, and personality? Could you choose through spiritual effort through through through noble spiritual effort to practice through through the practice of mindful awareness could you choose to not take the personal framing of the experience you're having so seriously? Could you make the spiritual effort to see through the illusion of the personal again and again and again and again? Because it's a very it's a very it's easy for me to say it's an illusion, but it's a very powerful one. It's extremely powerful and uh few people actually succeed in throwing it off. Because the question because the point is when you when you can do that when you are so deeply grounded in this non-relative absolute relationship to the human experience to life to to life itself including the human experience, including your very human experience then in fact there is no paradox really anymore. Or the the paradox becomes much smaller. Do the experience of duality do the the duality between the relative and the absolute between being a body, mind, and personality and being the absolute itself in human form it ceases to be such a big distinction anymore in your own felt experience. Now the inner feeling, the inner experience is is that it's all one. I am that. I and I am that in this context includes everything. Body, mind, personality time, space, world, universe. The finally I am that includes everything in a non-dual embrace. And in that case there's not such a big paradox anymore. There's always going to be a little bit of a paradox as long as we're dealing with a separate body, mind, personality there's going to be some duality of course. But the effect or the the blinding effect of the the blinding effect of this apparent duality will be minimized. Because the deeper we go into letting go of this fixation on this personal dimension of reality with this personal filter the deeper reality of the deeper non-dual reality of who I really am which which transcends but also includes my body, mind, and personality it it goes deeper and deeper into the soul. And that's when we become embodied expressions of enlightened awareness in relative body, mind, and personalities. Then there's a relative body, mind, and personality that doesn't feel so relative. Sometimes it starts to feel that it's through this relative body, mind, and personality the presence of the presence of the vibration that which is non-dual and absolute seems to be sneaking through. I remember when I met my guru in 1986 in Lucknow I realized shortly after I met him that he appeared to be an aging man an aging older man with a lot of confidence. But when I left his presence I was in a completely different state of consciousness and I realized that I was with someone who was far more than who he appeared to be. He appeared to be a very confident old man. But when I left him I realized that being in it as a result of being in his presence that he was much more than a kind of very confident old man. He was transmitting and vibrating with the presence of the absolute which was tangible through him. Just by being near him and being in his presence giving one's attention to his physical form seemed to give access to this non-dual uh state of higher consciousness in the most extraordinary way. So the question we're all left with is can we begin to practice through noble effort identifying less with the small self, with the personal sphere with the personalization of the human experience and to begin to reconsider is this feeling I'm having right now of pleasure or pain is it truly personal? Is the experience I'm having of fear or doubt or or exaltation is this is there anything really so personal about it or is it simply the human part of the human experience and not you not you not not not necessarily unique to me? Can we constantly question what how we feel and what we think if it has any personal characteristics about it at all? Because in the end if you keep on going with this kind of inquiry, this kind of investigation you'll start to see that as I've already said there's nothing personal about anything we ever experience. It's all part of a process, it's in progress. And the illusion of having a personal experience is something we're all sharing. We're all having that same We're all suffering from the same illusion. Which doesn't feel very unique, does it? But what is unique when one person wakes up from the from the illusion of the personal, the dream of the personal and they wake up then they they're there's something about such individuals which makes them they they stand up because they've become very different. They're not like everybody else because they've seen through the illusion of the personal. And because they're not identifying so compulsively, so unconsciously in such a conditioned way so personally with everything they experience consciously and unconsciously. Which to use Buddhist terminology which means they're awake and more conscious less robotic, less conditioned more inwardly free. More have they have access to more self-knowledge. And when they speak about the human experience they're speaking about it more impersonally less personally. So when they speak about the when such individuals speak about the human experience they're speaking to all of us. They're not just speaking about their own experience. Because they know that the the human experience is is a singular is a singularity. So so I want to encourage all of you to pay attention to your experience over the next few hours, the next few days, the next few weeks. And when you remember should you remember ask yourself whether there's anything whether there's anything personal that you're experiencing that whether the whether anything you're experiencing is truly personal or personal and unique to you. And if you think there is, stay with it until you see through it. Because you're sooner or later going to see through it all through all of it. And as this process continues what can begin to happen is that the the veil this the the veil of the of what I'm calling the personal, the veil of the personal will begin to fall away. It's like almost having a a suit of clothes that that falls off your body. It's like a a suit of an old suit of clothes or a veil that begin that that you throw off. And you begin to feel that your sense of self begins to get bigger and bigger and bigger. Now now and now your sense of self is not located in your body, mind, and personality any longer. It gets bigger and bigger and more inclusive of the totality of reality until it includes the whole universe, the whole multiverse. The sum totality of all of reality until it it expands to infinity. And then the and then you feel the sense of self that is not not separate from the sum totality of all of reality that's vibrating in and through your unique body, mind, and personality. Then you don't feel so much duality. You don't feel there's any big paradox anymore between the relative dimensions of of your experience and being you and the absolute dimensions of being you. It all becomes one experience, one process, one event that's unfolding mysteriously, miraculously, exquisitely and incomprehensibly. And that's when interestingly enough our minds begins to get become very quiet. Cuz you stop trying to understand everything with your mind at that point. You just start feeling more into the nature of experience. You have more of a feeling or feeling-oriented relationship to your experience and more of an intuitive felt relationship to consciousness and to conscious experience. And you're less trapped in the intellectual prison of the mind which brings so much more to the table. So that at this point being you, being conscious, being alive, being conscious of being alive and and in this case this which includes you includes this non-dual or absolute dimension of reality feels very big. Life becomes very big. Being you, being just being you just because you're conscious because you feel very big. And it's so big because it includes the sum totality of all of reality in a way that is very brings this feeling of exaltation and joy and sobriety, deep spiritual sobriety, seriousness, and sincerity and gratitude. So the more one the more we awaken to this non-dual dimension of reality the the paradox gets smaller and smaller between that which is relative between that which is relative and that which is absolute. And the smaller it gets the more beautiful we become as incarnated expressions of human potential. As the paradox gets smaller the expression of our true self gets bigger. And then you'll find that uh the whole universe will begin to love you. I'm not making this stuff up. It's really true. Okay, if anybody has any questions, I'll be happy to try and answer. Great. So if anybody would like to ask a question, please write your question in the chat window. You'll find it on the bottom of your Zoom window and I will read the question out loud. So I have do have a question already, Andrew. It's coming from Adam. He's asking in stillness I feel the peace and the presence of the divine and that there is a process of awakening while at the same time there is fear and terror of letting go of my false identities. They feel like they have taken on a life on their own as a separate force. How can can I not experience this as a battle? Maybe you have maybe you can't. Maybe it is a battle. Yeah, Adam, you've seen a lot of these um in Vajrayana Buddhism and in Zen Buddhism a lot of these statues of uh Zen masters or these Zen uh patriarchs holding their swords up high to battle with the illusion of the the illusion of samsara and the false self. So there's some schools of uh some Dharma schools that see the quest for enlightenment as a battle. We have to be willing to wage a battle between our illusory self and our true self. And you have to win that battle. And so this I have no problem with that kind of thinking cuz I think it's very apropos. But some and some some people these days feel they don't like this feel this is too patriarchal to to um dualistic to mythic. But I think that uh the a big part of the awakening process I mean the the the the the there is a the most beautiful part of the awakening process is that part of it which is spontaneous and effortless and easy and natural and given by grace. And that's the best part. But um but life is complicated and life is challenging and we're we we tend to be very complicated. And the mind is complex and a lot of these these processes that I'm describing are very complex and multi-dimensional, hard to see, hard to understand, hard to discern. And then and if you're serious you realize the stakes are very high. Because there is at certain at certain points in in the awakening process because we start glimpsing into the whole into the nature of the process as a whole and we realize this is this is serious. The whole experience of of the gift of life is serious and we can be having having the ability to be conscious of consciousness is serious. And realizing enlightenment is possible is serious. And we realize that so few people there are serious about life. They're they're living it and they might be suffering they might know what it means to experience terrible suffering. But they're still not as serious about life. So then we at a certain point in the awakening process we realize oh my goodness, this is serious. The consequences are serious and I have to become serious. And part of that is the realization that karma what we call karma is actually real. Karma actually is really exists. And if we're not willing to get deadly serious about the possibility of liberating our liberating ourselves for real we're probably never going to do it. We'll probably die in the same prison of samsara that we were born into. And so when you realize that that's actually true it kind of makes us helps us to wake up and get serious about about our own liberation about nurturing our own potential for liberation and getting very serious about our way one-pointed and focused about it and very energized. And then we have to be willing to fight the good fight. That doesn't mean fighting anybody else. This is a battle between the between between truth and falsehood and the nature of our own identity or identities. And uh and I think the the greatest realizers were were willing to fight this fight to the end to the death. Cuz they realized what was at stake and they realized how important it was and had to be taken very seriously and we had to be willing to fight for our own liberation. So as I so just to repeat as I said that the whole the whole process of awakening is not a battle, it's not a fight and and the most of the most usually the most transformative moments have nothing to do with effort or or fighting but are moments that are are grace-filled and uh spontaneous and effortless. And what it is with me is that I'm very serious but at the same time I'm very frustrated because I get the taste of awakening, the taste of enlightenment, a glimpse of it, you know, the taste of the freedom and the peace and then I want it all. So as I want to stay there. So maybe that's the ego that that feels the state and wants to stay there all the time and is afraid of facing the other one. It's easy that it's a battle when it's not. Well, I know but I just got saying that a lot of it is a battle. That's what I was saying to you. So because it is you have to all we have to be doing all we have to do is we have to be willing to fight the good fight when it's necessary. You don't have to be fighting all the time but when in you when you're fighting for your own liberation, your own sanity, your own potential for liberation, those moments when you have to fight for it you have to be willing to do whatever needs to be done. Yeah. And a lot of this Adam is a lot of a lot of this also has to do with trust and faith, you know. Faith in the faith in the best part of yourself. Faith in your maker, faith in the process, faith in your own potential for liberation. Faith in the great mystery that the mind can never recognize. My my guru said to me once when I walked into the room that he was in after I had not seen him for a few months the first thing he said was Andrew, I'm so glad you found a friend you'll never be able to see. Andrew, I'm so glad you found a friend you'll never be able to see. So, so whereas fighting the good fight is a big part of what this is all about and speaking practically and realistically, another part of this has to do with the with the with the faith. The faith in the great mystery behind all this and it is is the nature of consciousness is is very mysterious. Nature of consciousness is very mysterious. The nature of enlightenment itself is very mysterious. We're we're we're we're we're working with full with forces in consciousness that we can't understand with the mind. The forces in consciousness, currents in consciousness that exist that the mind can't understand. So, we all So, all we can do that in moments like that is to is to submit it, to surrender with with to what we can feel, but we can't see with the mind. We can't understand it, but we we can't make rational sense of it. And for all that to be okay. So, a big part of this process also is also letting go and a big in a big big big way of letting go of our minds. I think that's really what the challenge is is because I think, you know, what is a battle for me is wanting to fight it. So, the idea is what you're saying just to let go and have faith and don't make it into a fight. Just trusting God and it doesn't have to be a battle. Sounds good to me. Okay. But it might be a battle sometimes anyway. I know. Yeah, I I I have to be okay with that. Yeah, because life because life is very unpredictable, Adam. We don't We don't know what's going to happen from one day to the next. Yeah. So, we we're in a very We're in a situation that's fundamentally out of our control. It's very interesting from from different perspectives, from different um moments of spirit of spiritual insight. Sometimes I I have paradoxical insights. And the very liberating one one One of these paradoxical insights is that reality, the unfolding of reality is totally unpredictable, chaotic, and uncontrollable. And all one can do then is let go unconditionally, absolutely radically, completely and and learn what it means to trust beyond the mind enormously. On one hand, and then and then another paradoxical insight is moments where moments of of seeing kind of radical interconnected synchronicity in multiple levels all at the same time and seeing everything that happens is is a result of everything else that's happened, which is a result of everything else that's happened, which is a result of everything else that's happened. And everything that's everything that exists and everything that's unfolding that's unfolding is part of a a web. In in my in my inner Buddhism, it's called Indra's net. And to see how In those my those moments of insight, everything suddenly makes perfect sense. And suddenly everything could only be as it is and could not be any any other other than it than it is because of the way things are and because of the complex web of interconnectedness that's so absolute and all-encompassing. And it gave me the insight that insanity is trying to control any of that, which I can't. But Adam, but I what I wanted you to understand here is the paradoxical nature of the two insights I just I described. Yeah. That's what That's what's interesting cuz I think both they're both they're both they're they're two they're they're two truths that are an absolute paradox, but they're both true. Right. So, on one hand, it's unpredictable chaos every from one second to the next and all we can do is let go and trust. And in the other, there's a recognition that everything that the way everything is is because of the way everything's related to everything else. Everything makes makes deep deep mind-transcending sense in ways that is absolutely extraordinary, profound, and miraculous. And both of those truths are true. This is In relation to the second one, there's there's a we start to see that there's there were there's laws that are operating that we can't see most of the time that are at work. And that gives great faith when we can see when we can have these glimpses. But Adam, also are you aware that what I was speaking about tonight about the the um the fact that we're all having the same experience? Yes. Yeah. So, you you're aware, Adam, that a lot of people are struggling just like you are? Oh, yeah. I understand. Just the content of the story seems to be unique to me, but yes. Yes, I understand that really well. Yeah. So, if you understand that there are a lot of people are struggling in similar ways to yourself, Yeah. it takes it helps us to loosen the illusion of I'm the only one who's suffering through this. Yeah. I'm the only one who's suffering through this unique experience, which is which is a very nasty habit of the ego. And there's nothing more humiliating to the ego than to realize there's nothing there's nothing unique about its own experience and it's not special. Mhm. Yeah. Cuz the ego likes to be special even even in terms of its positive experiences or negative experiences. It always wants to find a way to stand out and be seen as being special. So, not being special, not being unique is kind of the ego's worst nightmare. Yeah, you're right. And my ego has created this like experience like that. I'm I'm this unique individual that nobody can understand or it's very hard to understand, which I understand that's that's the ego that does that. I think you're pretty easy to understand with the the times we've spoken. It's not very hard to understand you. Yeah. So, Adam, you got to work on faith, baby. That's the solution to your problem. Okay. That'll be my moment-to-moment mantra. Cuz you know, even if you have enormous faith, even if you cultivate the capacity to experience enormous faith, it's not going to protect you from suffering. Some suffering, pain, and death. Yeah, that's what it is. It's not just a fear. It's the fear of the fear. It's afraid of experiencing the fear. But if you can cultivate big faith, it will include all the worst possible things that might happen. Right. Yeah. Cuz you realize that the ultimate truth is bigger than anything relative could ever be any relative experience could ever be, including pain and suffering. Mhm. Easy to say, but it's but it's true. Yeah. Nice to see you again. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. So, Ananda is saying faith in that she wants us to come home to. The desire goes both ways. Yeah, that's always true. Like you've heard me say before, and consciousness always delights in its own self-recognition. So, as I've spoken about many times, consciousness in a mysterious way seems to be seeking for its own self-recognition. So, in that way, what you're saying is very true. Yeah, my experience is that sometimes um you know, I'm reaching and it seems like she's not paying attention and then other times she's reaching and um it seems like a big part of the spiritual path is um becoming attuned and um purified and trusting enough and longing enough that when she reaches back, then I'm there to say yes. Sounds good to me. That's why we have the first tenet of the teaching. That's always wanting to be free more than anything else in every moment, no matter what. Which means always being ready to be ready. To either say yes or let go or both. I don't have more more questions, Andrew, right now. But Pramoda has a question. Okay. It seems in the depths of the discovering the being more and more deeply, the outside experience of it can be quite opposite, even if temporarily. And I recall this mentioned in your book as well. It also strikes me that irrespective of the various perspectives we hold in ourselves, it is the outer expression of one of these perspectives that brings about the becoming in a way through that relative self perspective is this a sound understanding or just a fabricated sense of importance of the smaller self? I don't understand the question promote. I can't understand I'm just ask me see if I can maybe I can understand if you ask me. But does this question relate to the talk I gave tonight? Phantom Am I audible? Yes. Yeah, it's it's connected to the talk because I was wondering in the way what I tried to Can you turn up your volume because I can hardly hear you? Can you make Can you speak louder? It's hard to hear promote. You Is this good? Yes, it's better. Okay. Yeah, so I was just linking today's talk to the perspective of holding so many uh selves or uh I can't find the right word in in the way that uh this being has a lot of voices. And when it comes to the relative point only let's say one of these voices find expression on the outside. I don't know what you're talking about. Sorry. Okay. Can you use the language I was using tonight? That that would help me to understand what you're saying. So from an absolute perspective when looking at the observing the functioning of the relative self and the choices that seem to be made in that observance of the relative self from the absolute perspective I think my question is about uh to what degree does observing the relative self choices does it even define or reflect on the absolute or not? The more the more objectively the the more the more objectively the more objectively you can see your small self the better. The more the more objectively you can see the absolute can see the relative but the relative can't see the absolute. So the more you can see objectively with the more you can see objectively with a measure greater greater greater measure of objectivity your small self then you then you then you bring the light of this liberated awareness onto this relative dimension of your own experience and that's what brings liberated or that liberated awareness or the potential for liberation. But um we always want to try to do the right thing. No matter who's doing it no matter which no matter which part of our self we think is doing the right thing. Just we just want to do it. We don't want to be too careful. Let's let's be more interested in doing the right thing for the right reasons at the right time than being than being too concerned who which self is doing it. Because promote you know a lot of quite often doing doing beautiful things saying beautiful things and beautiful actions that come from the deepest part of our self the true self the authentic self can can happen faster than thought. So if we're too if we're too if there's too much self scrutiny too much trying to understand who's doing what we won't we won't we won't be trusting enough in our own innate spiritual potential to allow these beautiful things to happen through us faster than thought. So in essence you want you want to let let the God principle act through you speak through you work through you. And the way to do that is to is is to be trusting that it can and that it will. And and if it's if that's not what's happening if it's your small self at work you'll see the painful consequences of that pretty quickly. You'll realize what happened and why it happened. Follow what I'm saying? Yes, Andrew. That offers clarity in way of uh how I view things and it's never viewed in the moment itself. Exactly. myself always learning in retrospect. That's how it works. So the true self and the authentic self acts move faster than thought. So after after the fact you can realize oh that was my true self or oh that was my authentic self. You'll never know it in the moment because it's moving too quickly. And if you trust in the best part of your own self that will happen more and more often. But you'll do things or say things or act in ways or expressing things you didn't even understand or were aware of at the time. That's when you realize that there's much more to who we are than we're consciously aware of. That includes our That includes our unconscious self and our superconscious self. So the superconscious self is our can also act in ways that must move much faster than our conscious mind can be aware of. But the more we can let go of the mind and the more we can let go of the ego these kind of things can happen more and more often until it becomes like a like a higher flow state where we were doing things and saying things and acting in ways that are just happening spontaneously without thought that that surprises and make us realize that there's something very beautiful happening through us. Not as a result of effort but as a result of surrender and trust and faith. And yeah. How does that sound? Thank you, Andrew. Thank you. I don't have more questions, Andrew. Thank you very much. Thank you.