Andrew Cohen: Romantic Relationship in an Evolutionary Context

so so looking at the whole notion of the Romantic and sexual dynamic in in an authentically evolutionary context uh forces us to really begin to think about the meaning and significance of what it is that we're doing are we you together for merely personal reasons or there a higher reason or a higher context that you are sharing a bed together so the the so the point here to understand is that and this is this is one of the one of the big themes of course in the teaching is the whole notion of evolution which in evolution remember we're going from a from a lower level of development to a higher level of development right so there's a vertical context the context of verticality we're always driving to go to a place we are not yet at right so it's it's a striving to become more conscious it's is striving to become more conscious right individually and together there something that we're striving to do you understand what I'm saying now what's the the nature of the of the of the Romantic and sexual impulse is it is is it is there any vertical Dimension to it it's really about nesting isn't it we get together we build our little Nest so we can have our little chickies but it's true the reason that the energy and intelligence made the sexual experience so pleasurable uh was just to get you to do it that that's just a way to manipulate us to ensure that you know the race our our species is continues to procreate it's just a gimmick and it works now originally the idea was was that you're supposed to do that create a an environment where you can do that so that you'll be able to Bear children right in a secure environment but for most of us bearing children is not the reason that you want to make love with someone else that's not the re we do it because the M main reason is just to experience pleasure right it's to experience pleasure it's not it's not to Bear children so then so then so then the reason to be together in a romantic and sexual relationship is to be able to experience this particular particular form of pleasure right and in and of itself there's nothing that's fine there's nothing wrong with that but when you start activating that particular part of your own nature you what what you're also uh what begin what you what begins to um what you begin to awaken in yourself are a lot of um uh ideas beliefs Concepts cultural memes that go way way back that uh that bring up a desire for security right right security and and and worst of all attachment in an evolutionary context with when the context is evolution or constant creation security is not the goal so so when the idea is if therefore if you're getting together with another person you're choosing to get together in a committed relationship with another individual in in a sexual Bond and the context is evolution the desire for security is taking you in the opposite direction so so is that something else to consider how antithetical is is the desire to bond and the desire to consciously evolve it doesn't have to be if both individuals are both more interested in conscious evolution than they are in being together or and they aren't protecting their own personal connection it doesn't have to be it doesn't have to be a problem at all but another very important and significant element that you know we're adding to all this is the is the understanding and appreciation of how the evolutionary impulse actually works which is in where where you are in uh uh ever always and ever striving to create that which is new and that creates a context of tremendous insecurity but that insecurity uh doesn't doesn't necessarily feel bad it can it can feel very exciting but if you are trying to hold on to something to to something static with another individual in order to derive some sense of security the the creative impulse will uh will be squashed squelched by the desire to be together in a secure in in what in what is perceived to be or what is imagined to be a secure context do you understand my point you know if if we're trying to create a new enlightened culture together you know especially in this particular Arena of life this is the kind of very serious uh inquiry that the individual has to really go through and we have to do this together also