Seek Until You Find

So, what I wanted to talk about today is the the nature of seeking, the nature of finding, and the eternal nature of becoming. And I wanted to speak about the the paradigm the inherent paradoxes in the spiritual process when we approach it with commitment. So, first of all, I've always stressed I've always stressed in my teaching work that um that in order to succeed in the spiritual process, and notice what I just said. I said, "In order to succeed in the spiritual process," which already implies quite a bit. And the reason I'm kind of catching myself is because a lot of people are kind of engaged in a spiritual in a spiritual process, but um don't necessarily intend to succeed, don't necessarily even think that succeeding could be part of what what a spiritual process is all about. They might not even have any idea what succeeding could possibly even mean. So, just to begin, I wanted I want to put that into the mix. A lot of people are involved in all kinds of spiritual pursuits and practices of all kinds, experimenting with this and experimenting with that. But a lot of it's happening in a rather vague, undefined, general psycho-spiritual context where the actual goal is not clearly delineated, is not clearly defined. And where many people are attempting at different forms of self-improvement, but it's all in a vague context. It makes the whole notion of progress in a larger process of spiritual development hard to hard to hard to define, hard to really get clear about. And um I think it's important to have clear goals. In the spiritual process, it's it's important to be very goal-oriented from my from my point of view. I've always been very spiritually ambitious from the very beginning. I was spiritually ambitious. From the age of 22, I was enlightenment, whatever that was, was my goal. And I was when I made up my when I made made up my mind to commit myself, it was enlightenment or bust. In other words, I would I had didn't have a plan B. There was no there was no plan B available to me in my own mind. I was going to succeed one way or the other. I didn't know how I was going to do it. But I was very goal-oriented, and I wanted to reach the goal. I wanted to glimpse what the Buddha had glimpsed. I had to experience I wanted to I wanted to know what he knew. I wanted to have a direct experience of what the greatest realizers describe and they describe their extraordinary heights and states of consciousness and the miraculous adventures in consciousness. I that's what I wanted to experience myself directly. And I also wanted to be free. I wanted to experience liberation. And I wanted to experience what unconditional liberation felt like. And I wanted to be happy. And I wanted to be free from the bondage of mental illness, neurosis, fear, anxiety, and confusion. I really wanted to break through to the other side, and what compelled me was the fact that uh the fact that that that another side actually existed. Because a big part of the path at the very beginning is actually believing that enlightenment is actually real. A lot of people hear about these extraordinary historical figures who apparently had these these amazing metaphysical breakthroughs and experience profound and remarkable degrees of freedom and transformation that are his that are historic. But most people don't really know what those experiences are and what they have to do with them. So, so believing in enlightenment, in other words, realizing that the profound transformations that some of the people like the Buddha spoke about are actually available to us, that they actually exist even in the post-modern era, that these higher states of consciousness exist and they're available to us, and enlightenment exists and that it's real, and that the possibility of our own profound and miraculous liberation and emancipation and salvation is actually available, that it exists, is a big part of getting started on the path. Believing in believing in in enlightenment exists, or even better, having no doubt that enlightenment exists, is a big part of getting started on the path in a in a strong way. And a big part of the problem is, and it's nobody's fault, that many people have many many of us are confused as to whether there is any ultimate non-relative or higher dimension to reality at all. A lot of people are very unclear whether there's any kind of ultimates to be to be found in the reality of the human experience the experience of central life here on Earth. They don't people don't know what ultimate actually means what it could mean whether there's anything that whether there's anything that's higher that has any kind of reveals any kind of ultimate value and purpose upon its realization. But to use mythic language, we could say that um many people are very confused as to whether there whether this higher principle exists so to use mythic language to say well I don't know if there's a God in this universe. Understandably many people don't know whether God exists. And when I use the word God, I'm using the word God to mean an ultimate principle an ultimate metaphysical absolute non-relative principle that um defines ultimates in its most radical and profound expression. So it's very difficult to seek for God what's called what's been called God realization if you don't believe in God if you don't believe that the God principle actually exists in the universe if you don't believe it exists and it's hard to take it seriously as a valid pursuit. So the to the first and most important part of the path is becoming convinced that there is an ultimate principle that's realizable in the universe the realization of which liberates us at the level of the soul and liberates us existentially as existentially and profoundly at the level of the soul in a way that is irrevocable and is absolute and is permanent and is for and is forever. But that's that's the that's the very challenging part of the beginning of the path is the belief or the conviction that there's something to find, there's something higher to find. And understandably in in a relative post-modern context where culturally we are tend to be trapped in materialistic secular values. It's very understandable why many of us are so hesitant about whether this higher metaphysical principle exists at all. And a lot of people struggle with with with with an absence of any parent sense of meaning or purpose in this life process. Because it's the thing that from my point from my perspective, the thing that makes this the discovery of this higher non-relative absolute God principle so absolutely relevant and so important is because in its discovery we we find an ultimate and absolute source of meaning. A meaning for our own existence or presence here in this barren infinite universe. And that's very consoling. When you realize that it means something to exist and and it means something indescribably beautiful and inherently meaningful and profound to exist in this vast universe. It's very liberating. It resolves the unbearable existential tension that so many sensitive thoughtful caring souls who are unsure about whether there's any inherent meaning in existence at all struggle with. Because unless we are sure that it means something inconceivably possible positive to exist, unless we're sure about it, it's going to be very difficult for us to commit ourselves fully to the life experience. We might be half-baked in our commitment to our own life. It doesn't If we're smart and we're not sure that life has any inherent meaning or purpose. And and life exists in this very confusing context that's so often full of violence and pain and confusion. A lot of us, as I said, sensitive people are not we're not sure whether whether life is good, whether whether it's it's worth even worth living. So, that's that's the those are some of the problems at the beginning of the path that we have to struggle with. Now, I had a very powerful spiritual initiation when I was 16 years old unexpectedly. I experienced a visitation from the absolute, which completely blew my socks off. And I suddenly realized that there was a higher principle that existed that was profound beyond measure, that was absolutely overwhelming in its radiant and inherent glory. I never experienced anything so magnificent in my life and I knew I knew that those few moments that I had this experience, that those few moments were more real than any other moments I'd ever experienced in my the 16 years that I'd been alive. Of that I had no doubt. I knew that. And because of that, when I became a seeker when I was 22, because of that original experience, I knew that the God principle existed because the God principle had revealed itself to me for reason, I don't understand why that happened, but it did. So, I had no doubt that God existed, that the God principle existed, or that there was an ultimate truth to be known that that had the power to liberate us. I had no doubt that this was true. I just I just didn't know how I was how I was going to rediscover it. I didn't know how I was going to permanently re-realize it again. Cuz I knew without without the confidence in that miracle, life didn't seem so worthwhile. So, one of the things that I've always stressed over the years that I've been a teacher, which is quite a while now, is that we should seek for God, for truth, for liberation, for enlightenment, for for our liberation, for our salvation, for liberation with a kind of passion and an intensity that will surely bring us to what the Buddha called the yonder shore, the solid ground of enlightened awareness, the solid ground of the stabilized state of liberation. So, I've always loved the simple phrase, I think it comes from Jesus, "Seek until you find." Seek until you find what you're looking for. And once again, this refers to what I was saying at the beginning of my talk, because I've met so many people over the years who were seeking in some form, rather, whether it was through prayer or meditation retreats, or doing yoga, or tantra, or whatever whatever it is that one does to seek for something higher. But, as I said I was saying earlier in my talk, a lot of I knew a lot of people who were seeking vaguely, generally, seeking, but there was very few people I met who actually intended to find anything, or even had the expectation that they were going to find anything or even had the expectation that they were going to come to the end of the search. And I always had that expectation. That's why I was seeking. So that I'd come to the end of the search. The search didn't did the search didn't to me this this the seeking process of being on the search didn't have me value without trying to come to the end of the search. I didn't think the seeking had value in and of itself for its own sake. And I met so many people who were who spent years and hours and hours of their time doing spiritual practice very earnestly and diligently without necessarily intending to get anywhere permanent or even to reach enlightenment or to achieve any kind of profound liberation. Seemed to be just faith in in doing the the practice whatever it was for its own sake. And that never worked for me. It never To me it just seemed meaningless. So So seeking to be in order to become a true seeker to use the term true seeker to order to become a true seeker which means a serious seeker a sincere seeker an authentic seeker means that you are serious about the spiritual path. This is not just something you do on weekends. It's something you just read books about and talk about at party. Parties. But it mean it mean it's it's something that you feel very committed to. And it means you intend to succeed. Because Yeah. So you have to be willing In order to become a true seeker you have to be willing to allow yourself to become very vulnerable. Open to the cosmos, open to the universe. It's like bearing one's chest, bearing one's soul. Very vulnerably to the entire cosmos, asking to be seen, asking asking for a sign. Asking the God principle for a sign that she exists. Allowing yourself to become utterly and unimaginably vulnerable before the absolute principle. I'm begging, begging metaphorically or literally on one's knees for her to reveal herself, to relieve one's existential pain and suffering and doubt. Please reveal yourself to me, God principles, so I can be relieved of this terrible doubt that I struggle with every day. This tears my heart apart. Please, oh please, let me know that you exist and that this is not all in vain. That kind of thing. So, it takes a lot of spirit, a lot of spiritual courage to allow yourself to become that vulnerable before your own higher highest aspirations. And a lot of people are too egotistical and too proud, too arrogant and too damn smart to let themselves be the experience that kind of vulnerability. Now, I want to make very clear here that the that it's possible to find what you're looking for, that enlightenment exists, the God principle exists, God realization exists, it's available. Everything the great the greatest realizers in history have spoken about is real. And it's available here and now. Anyone who's who's sincere enough and vulnerable enough to look to dig deep enough. But the I just I just want to repeat as mundane as it might sound it's possible to find what you're looking for. Some people actually do. I did. And the difference between being a spiritual practitioner is vaguely seeking versus the spiritual practitioner who's actually found what they're looking for is the difference between night and day. When you find what you're looking for, your life turns out your life is becomes completely transformed you become a different person. Cuz now you have realized that there's an absolute principle in this cosmos inherent in this cosmos the knowledge of which changes everything. Your soul undergoes a metaphysical revolution that's impossible to describe in words. But it's bigger and more extraordinary than we can imagine possibly imagine that it is. And once that happens, you're permanently changed. Doesn't mean you're not human you're still human you're still an imperfect human being you're an imperfect human being who knows the highest truth that exists in this universe at level of the soul once and for all and forever. And when this transformation happened to me in 1986 it I went through this a metaphysical transformation of a process that lasted about 3 weeks. And I felt like my cells were being transformed when I was undergoing this this metaphysical ordeal. And when it was over I was a different person. I wasn't the same person I had been. And the change has lasted all these years and it's as profound and powerful and as remarkable and extraordinary profound as it was 30 years ago 35 years ago. So being a finder is a big deal. Not a lot of people can can claim to be finders, but when you're a finder, you know it because something changes in your heart. Now, you have no doubt that the God principle exists because the God principle has found you. You have found it, but it more accurately it has found you and blessed you and kissed you and loved you so intensely that you know you've been found and you don't have any doubt about it anymore. You don't have any doubt about it anymore. You don't have any doubt about it. Not having any doubt about it is what liberation is based upon. Because the absolute principle loves those who find her absolutely, unimaginably, beautifully, and intensely. So, when you find when when you have been found by her, it is the most explicit experience is possible to have. And what happens is that is that existential something comes to an end inside you. You You You stop being trapped. You're not trapped anymore. You realize that existence it's okay to exist and that it's good to exist. There is a metaphysical existential, emotional, psychological release in the nervous system of your soul as you realize that everything is okay. And at the deepest and highest level, it's always been okay and it will always be okay in ways you can't understand with your mind. So, you're no longer a beggar. You're no longer a beggar. You're no longer hungry ghost. You no longer struggle with doubt, with the spiritual doubt, existential doubt. Cuz now you have spiritual conviction. You have spiritual conviction what I like to call spiritual self-confidence because you you found it. It she's found you. And you know it and you don't have any doubt about it. Now the people can feel it because it's true. You're not You're not lying. You're not pretending. It becomes obviously just was obviously the case. And because you have become a finder, because she's found you. You have allowed yourself to be taken. So to speak. You no longer do you do all the emotional desperation. In relation to some of the other issues in your life. Are gone. Because the most important thing that could ever happen in a human life has already happened to you. Everything else is gravy. Everything else is extra because it's already done. And because it's already done, because you have this now because you're a true finder and it's already done. Now you can get on with your life. As a rich man or woman. As one of the as the as the richest man or woman in the whole world. Because you found the ultimate truth, the highest God principle. And everything else is extra. Now you now you can carry on with your life in an unselfish You can live your life unselfishly. Because you've given everything that there is to receive. You become a very different kind of person living for very different reasons that most people live their lives. And once you once this has happened. Um. You you begin to rest. In the knowledge of what you found very naturally, effortlessly, spontaneously, and easily. It's not long as something vague that exists somewhere behind the beyond the clouds, beyond the horizon that you can't see. You you rest in the in the perfect confidence that it's always the case. And you don't have any doubt. And interestingly enough, no matter what your relative experience may be from moment to moment, you have no doubt that it's always the case because your conviction has become so profound, that your experience has been so deep that you're sure. So, all the existential desperation, emotional desperation is gone. And you can truly relax and be yourself fearlessly, courageously, and absolutely because you found everything there is to find. So, even So, while it might while in many circles it might not be fashionable to think to speak about finding enlightenment and discovering enlightenment, it's the whole point. And as challenging as it may seem, and as challenging as it is, we don't want to We want to keep it We want to keep it front and center because that's what it's all about. And of course, there's the famous Zen saying not to not to mistake the finger pointing to the finger for the moon. Cuz the finger pointing to the moon is considered to be in the con- in the Zen context, meditation, and the moon is enlightenment. And so, they they say don't don't mistake the finger for the moon. Same thing. So, seek until you find means seek until you come to the end of seeking. And the only way to come to the end of seeking is to find what you're looking for. It's very simple. But in order to repeat, in order to find what you're for, you have to believe that it's that number one, that it exists. That enlightenment exists, that the God principle exists. You have to believe that it it exists. Number one, and number two, that you're that you're have the ca- the capability to actually find it. To have the key that you have the capability to find it, which means you need to have you need to cultivate a reasonable degree of spiritual self-confidence. You have to believe in your own spiritual worthiness. You have to feel worthy. To use mythic language of God, so to speak. You have to feel worthy of enlightenment. You have to believe in yourself. In your own inherent worth. As an evolving soul. And and then you have to believe you have that this is the become the source of your own self-respect and your own sense of dignity. That you're worth it. And you are deserving of this kind of experience. Nobody can do that for you. You have to be You have to something you have to work out for yourself. You have to believe that you're worth it. If you don't have self-respect, this kind of experience won't won't not be able to stabilize in your soul. With self-respect and a reasonable degree of self-respect and dignity is required here. So, and of course, coming to coming to the end of the path of becoming a finder is not the end of the spiritual life. But it means that you means that you've come to you that you've got it you did it. That you've did it. You've You've done the thing that needs to be done spiritually and you know you you become as I said before one of the richest people in the universe. But if you're lucky you're lucky and I've been the most luck I'm the luckiest person that I know. If you're lucky this kind of event will happen to you when you're fairly young so you can live the truth of what you found for the rest of your days. So that the rest of your human experience can can become an expression of the most extraordinary thing that exists in the universe. You can become an expression of that. You can become an expression of that. You can vibrate with that, transmit that. Be an audacious, outrageous confronting expression of the highest principle in the universe in human form. You might lose a few friends but who cares because you'll be free. You won't mind. So remember that once you become a finder once enlightenment has occurred if it has the human experience is not over. It it continues but not continues in a different form. Your your your humanity expresses itself in a different way now. Cuz you're a different person. You're a different person's level of the soul. Your raison d'être to exist has changed. You're no longer separate from the whole universe. You know you don't go you don't go you no longer lost in your own neurotic narcissistic story. Thank God. And now you're living you're here living only to be an expression of the highest. At least that's what you aspire to. And your purpose for to exist is to express that and that alone. It becomes your obsession. It becomes your reason to exist. So, you're no longer like everybody else. You're not trying to fit in anymore. You're not You're not You're not losing yourself in other people's minds and thoughts. Cuz you found your very own self. So, life goes on, but now you're living life for very different reasons, and that's the whole point. Now, your life is to become an expression of liberation and beauty and dignity and Your life should in it should in a very natural and spontaneously way express the fact that there's inherent meaning in the fact that the universe exists, and that meaning should be something that's transmitted through you and by you naturally and unselfconsciously and easily and obviously. Now, there's different ways to look philosophically at the metaphysical position of being a finder. Some people Some traditions and some people feel that once you become a finder, there's nothing left to do cuz you cuz it's already happened. Whereas there's other people like me who think there's everything to do. Now, you have so much more to do because you've become a finder. Now, you have a lot to do. And there's another way to look at all this, which is the what I wanted to contrast everything I was just describing, which is that the human incarnation at higher levels provides us with an opportunity for growth. A conscious person, someone who's becoming truly conscious of the human experience in larger and larger contexts. Eventually, we'll discover that the context in which we exist is a developmental one. It's an evolutionary one. Life itself Life itself is a developmental It's part of a developmental process. It's in progress. That the whole universe and everything in it, including life itself, is in a process of becoming more and more and more of what it can be. We recognize when we when we awaken to the evolutionary impulse, the evolutionary principle in the universe, we realize that the that there's an impulse There's There's an evolutionary impulse in this universe that is expressing itself in so many different ways. That the universe is trying to become more of what it can be. It's reaching, striving for greater complexity, and greater good, truth, and good, truth, and beauty. Goodness, truth, and beauty. The universe is aspiring to become more of what it can be. The universe is aspiring to become more of what it can be through all of us. And someone who becomes conscious, you know, someone who awakens to the evolutionary principle in the cosmos, begins to feel this movement of the cosmos uh vibrating in their own body, mind, and soul. You can feel the vibration of the universe's urge to become more of what it can be, feeling itself through us. And this is experienced as the urge to grow, the urge to develop, the urge to realize, make manifest the infinite potential that we glimpse exists within us and all around us. So, there's the awakening to this to this to the consciousness of the urge to become inherent in the creative process. This is what we This is what I call awakening to the evolutionary impulse. The urge to evolve is driving the whole cosmos. And when we when we experience it, we we we feel a hunger to become everything that we're capable of becoming. It's a It's a very healthy and ecstatically driven desire to to become more of what we can be, to grow. To make manifest the infinite potential that we realize is inherent within us. And then for those who are truly serious about this kind of endeavor find themselves feeling very inspired by the recognition that the developmental process, the urge to become that's inherent in the fabric of the cosmos seems to be an infinite aspiration that's coming from the heart of creation itself. The urge to become is an infinite aspiration. Think about that. The urge to become is an infinite aspiration, and the fact that it's an infinite aspiration and we can feel the infinite nature of that aspiration it means it's a kind of enlightenment also. But in this kind of enlightenment the because the the aspiration is infinite, there's you can't come to the end of it. There's no You can't come to to end of it. Because it's an infinite aspiration, you can only infinitely embrace or engage that aspiration eternally for eternity if you have the courage to do that. But you it's not like seeking itself is not it's not like the seeking those who describe where you can come to the end of seeking. If you if you dare to embrace the infinite aspiration arising from the heart of the cosmos to become then you have to have the courage to embrace the infinite nature of the aspiration itself. Which means that it's a for- it's a forever aspiration. I aspire to become eternally for eternity to consciously evolve to consciously become eternally for eternity without end. And it's the without end part that that uh the ego has a little bit of trouble with. We seem to be interested in that which is eternal except when we except when we have to say yes to it. And then a lot of us aren't so sure that we want to be eternally engaged in the create in the in the becoming of the cosmos. I can't think of anything more interesting that we could possibly be doing, but that's another conversation. But the the urge to become the creative impulse that inspires in us the desire to grow and to become to give rise to what's possible relentlessly. As I've I've just been saying is an eternal aspiration and so what's very interesting is that this is the point of what I wanted to talk about is that it's possible to find what you're looking for to awaken to the God principle to awaken to enlightened awareness to become a finder and have landed on the yonder shore permanently once and for all and absolutely once and for all and forever to take up residence on the yonder shore like few people have ever done before. And and and at the same time embrace this eternal aspiration to become that's vibrant from the heart of the cosmos and to engage you in this eternal process of becoming from the perspective of being a finder. There is no contradiction between finding the highest in the finding that which is the highest the most extraordinary profound truth that exists in all and in all of the totality of reality and still to aspire to consciously engage in the co-creation of the entire of the interior of the cosmos eternally for eternity. So finding doesn't in in the in the way I'm describing it finding does not necessarily imply the end. It could it could it implies it implies the fact that one is now on solid ground solid metaphysical ground. From that solid metaphysical ground the potential the creative potential of man to eternity is infinite. And what the teaching this is this is this it's this uh apparent paradox that the teaching of evolutionary enlightenment points to very precisely and very clearly. We want to We want to see We want to seek until we find the God principle enlightenment. We want to come to the end of the search so that we can experience liberation, we can become liberated, so that we can then be free to fully engage with the evolutionary process eternally for eternity. That's the the idea. Sounds pretty good to me. I can't think of anything better to do. Because the thing is the coming to the end of the search for enlightenment to the God principle makes us available to the cosmos. Most of us unless unless you can actually awaken to enlightened awareness in a profoundly permanent way, you're not going to be available for the God principle or for the enlightenment because you'll be busy with your mind and with your ego with your narcissistic absorption. You'll be busy with your ego's narrative. You won't be available for the universe. You'll be busy in your in your small world of the small self for countless lifetimes. It's kind of how it works as far as I understand. As my guru was fond of repeating as Nirvana has no beginning and no end, so samsara has no beginning and no end, so at a certain point in in the our seeking process and in our spiritual practice, we want to realize that hell the hell of the hell of the state of unenlightenment is an eternal hell realm from the perspective of the awakened mind. And once you wake up from that eternal hell realm, you want to stay out of it forever. And now we're busy with the nirvanic aspirations that I was describing a few minutes ago. So, we want to seek until we find. Then finding doesn't become an end in itself, it becomes a means to a much higher end. Which so we can be available for the cosmos. Truly available. Available at the level of our souls. And that's the whole point. I know some of you might find it hard to understand what I'm saying, but I'm there's a world of difference between being interested in these metaphysical potentials and understanding what it means to be truly available for the universe. If you're truly available for the universe, it means you have put aside a lot of your other karmic entanglements. Which can last for eons of time as we know. You you transcend a lot of your egoic entanglements. And now I have surrendering to a surrendering literally to a higher calling. And when you surrender to a higher calling, you experience unimaginable freedom. Cuz you've gotten out of the mess that samsara is. Out of the eternal mess that samsara is. And now have other work to do. You should probably demand everything you've gotten and a lot more than that. That'll be in the context of liberation from the very beginning. Once you become a finder, everything else is liberation from the very beginning, no matter what kind of complexity that you're involved in. Liberation is the ground and the foundation of the reality that which you're living in, which you're engaging with life. So, it's very difficult to to engage in the evolutionary process sincerely, earnestly, while still being entangled in un-enlightenment. Because the Because the reason is the un-enlightened state of mind, state of being, state of the self will keep on pulling your attention back down to hell. That's what it does. You're You're When you The minute where you find yourself contemplating these profound metaphysical potentials that exist in this amazing universe, you'll find your mind getting distracted by all these complications and complexities that emerge in hell. Then you fall down. For this kind of process to work, you have to be able to keep your attention focused on nirvana and what's possible in the in the nirvanic realm and in the in the nirvanic context. This is way beyond what most people ever begin to imagine. But it's extraordinary, profound, and miraculous. And in order to understand what I'm saying, we need to step out of samsara absolutely, totally, and completely once and for all and forever. We need to lift ourselves up and out and take up residence in the nirvanic context, and then we want to build from that platform. It's a completely different world that I'm talking about. So then the point of what I'm saying is that from in the context of of the profound liberation being the ground of our experience or having become the ground of our experience, we can engage in in the internal process of conscious evolution. And what could be more beautiful profound and extraordinary than that? I don't think anything. So remember we want to stop thinking about liberation and enlightenment and the evolution of the interior of the cosmos from the perspective of the unenlightened ego. Cuz the unelightened ego may understand it intellectually but metaphysically will just never really get what it's all about. Cuz it's too much lost in the spiral of spiral of what I've been called. So, I think I said most of what I intended to say. And I think I said a few things I didn't intend to say which is part of the fun. And remember to seek until you find. Don't seek without the intention to find cuz it's a waste of time. I think. Seek with the intention to find. And the reason in this what I believe high is in this highest context is you want to become a finder. Not as an end in itself. As a means to a higher end so you can be available. The cosmos itself so you can be truly available for to liberate and cultivate the nirvanic potential the nirvanic potential that exists in these higher states and higher stages of human development. And the liberation part is a must. It's the foundation of getting your ego out of the way. If we don't all do the work to get our ego out of the way, the ego's going to mess it all up and it always does if we don't take special care and special attention to make sure that it doesn't ruin the spiritual project all together. Which it usually does for most people. And groups of people. The getting the ego out of the way is an absolute prerequisite for any hopes for success. And the first question Andrew is from Marilyn. She is asking isn't there a tension paradox between the resting in the already existing wholeness of our being and letting life cosmos flow through us which means surrender versus striving to become which seems a denial and lack of acceptance of our already existing wholeness. Well, there is a reasonable it's a good question but there's no there there's no tension between them because it's not because the the because the urge towards I think the urge to give rise to higher potentials and greater complexity greater depth and It's coming from the It's coming from the energy and intelligence that created the universe itself. It's coming from the evolutionary impulse itself. So, I always ask everybody who created the universe. The There's an absolute principle or God principle. And sometimes the the God principle is the sum totality of reality as a metaphysical vibration. So, if we if it makes sense to us that this Then in fact from a from an enlightened perspective or from from the perspective of the awakened realization that the universe has an inside and an outside and the inside of the universe is an inte- is an interior dimension of sentience and subjectivity that can awaken to itself. So, from the perspective of the awakened interior of the whole cosmos, that you realize that this urge towards greater potential is coming from the God principle itself. Which is the energy and intelligence that created the universe in the first place and it's creating it right now. There's no tension because it seems that miraculously, ecstatically, profoundly and uh completely that the God principle is aspiring for her own to liberate her own greater potential through us. And this is why uh Marilyn, I say in my teaching that the that the ultimate It is the sum totality of all of reality. I I I I ask I ask people, what is the nature of God or the absolute principle? I say, the nature of God or the absolute principle is the sum totality of all of reality. The sum totality of all of reality is both being and becoming, which means the God principle, which is the sum totality of all of reality, is both being and becoming. So, therefore, the God principle, the sum totality of reality as being, is always resting in her own nature as being. So, from the perspective of being, which is an aspect of the sum totality of all of reality, there's no urge to become. And there's only stillness and peace. But from the perspective of the sum totality of reality, which is the becoming, the the the the the interior of the universe is ever striving to become more of what it can be, which is also the very same God principle that's resting in being. So, the God principle has the urge to become as the creative impulse to to to to give rise to the evolutionary process, is ever striving for more for greater to give rise to greater potential, naturally, spontaneously, effortlessly, and ecstatically. So, from from from an ultimate perspective of non-duality, being and becoming are one and not two. From the ultimate perspective of non-duality, being and becoming are one and not two, and yet being and becoming are simultaneously and not separate, and simultaneously, they're also an absolute paradox. So, no tension, no problem. Being is never disturbed by becoming. And becoming is never slowed down by being. They're both simultaneously the absolute vibrating and shining brightly in all in his or her radiance. So, there's no contradiction. There's a paradox, but there's no contradiction because they're both the absolute in all in her in his beauty. That's why in this in this teaching of evolutionary enlightenment, I always emphasize the necessity to awaken to the this absolute principle as both being and becoming at the level of felt experience. And when we awaken to being, at the level of felt experience, we the experience of being is peace. A peace that passes all understanding. Which has no urge to become anything or anyone for any reason. There's only resting in being. In emptiness and nothingness. In the peace of the unmanifest, the uncreated, the unborn. And the unimaginable freedom and release that there always is there. But that's that's a felt identity, a felt experience for someone who has this deep realization of the nature of being. And simultaneously when you when you awaken to the becoming, you do your your God principle is the urge to become we experience the profound nature of the ecstatic urgency. Of the urge to become and the ecstatic the the vibration of the ecstatic urgency of the urge to become is the the the God's desire to become who what you can be. Is it is experience in a state in a wave of ecstasy. The urge to become is is an ecstatic compulsion. It's an unimaginably ecstatic and purely positive ecstatic compulsion to give rise to the possible. There's no tension in it. One is utterly undone by the ecstatic nature of the urgency itself. So, it's only a feeling of the of the liberation of greater potential. So, there's no tension inherent in it. And the urge to become is an expression of the God principle as Eros that I'm describing. It's a moving train. It's always It's a train that's always moving. And the point of the the big point I'm making in this teaching is that God is both being and becoming simultaneously, miraculously, inconceivably. In the context of non-duality in which being and becoming one and not two, there's no problem. There's no contradiction. There's only a a miraculous inconceivable paradox that is amazing. When you realize that God of the absolute principle of the sum totality of all reality here is one and two at the same time. And that's amazing. Now, there are some people who realize who um who realize who awaken to the absolute as all as only being. They don't realize awaken to the absolute is becoming. They give priority to being This would be more in the form of what I call a traditional enlightenment. traditional Buddhist enlightenment of the Vedantic enlightenment. And there's some evolutionary realizes who awaken profoundly to the evolutionary impulse and the urge to become but have not done it don't realize or have not awakened to the nature of the absolute as as as as as being itself. And I'm saying in this teaching that they're both two sides of one two sides of the same coin. God is both being and becoming and there's no difference between them at the level of the absolute. Relatively speaking, they're completely opposite. But at the absolute level, they merge and become one in the same. And then you can then you can make sense out of the the the the the manifest of the complexity in a way that simplifies matters in a way in which we can make sense out of it. And this relates very much to the to to to tangible felt experiences that we can have as human beings. In other words, what I'm saying is not just abstract metaphysics but a exper- experiential feelings and knowings and insights and intuitions that are available to all of us. And if you have these kinds of feelings and uh insights and these vibrations reveal themselves inside you, you will suddenly say, "Oh, what Andrew was talking about is actually real. He's not just This is not just metaphysical garbage garble. He's talking about real states of consciousness that have particular qualities. What he's This is actually real. What he's talking about is real, existence this exists. Now I understand. Okay, Marilyn? Yes, sir. I wanted to say thank you for expounding on that because I Tell me if I'm getting it. I applied the word striving to becoming and that seems an invitation to the ego to come in. What you're saying it What I'm hearing is surrender applies to both being and becoming. Surrender to being part of the evolution of the cosmos. I love it. Whatever it's being and becoming, be a part of that and surrender to it. I think we just you you said it very beautifully. I don't know when I ask you a question. Have you ever had the experience when you when they there's an ecstatic compulsion and the nature of the ecstasy makes it impossible to resist? So, one cannot help but surrender. Uh yeah, not real often. But yeah, it comes up. But I I like the fact that you switched my perspective on the notion of being and becoming. They're one in the same if you view the absolute in a certain way and I think I'm hearing you right. I appreciate the your further explication of that. Yeah, I just see them as two sides of the same coin. Yeah. I see it as being an absolute paradox. Yeah, thank you for that. It's helpful to me. Thanks. Thank you. I have no other questions right now. So That's nice. I really get to sit quietly. I don't get to sit quietly. But yippee. Mhm? I get to say quietly If the talk is really at the highest level then everybody gets to transcend their mind for a few minutes and then the then the the place where the questions come from kind of is transcended. And then all one can do is rest in being which is a gift. It's called the question the state. What I think can be helpful to everybody is the is contemplating is it is it is a meditative contemplation of what I was just speaking to Marilyn about which is the fact that being and becoming are one and not two. So at a relative level there's an absolute distinction between being and becoming they're polar opposites. But at an at the at a relative level but an absolute at an absolute level they're they're they're one and not two. So contemplating that this contemplating being becoming as a singularity the non-dual singularity which at a relative level is is uh is a total paradox and at an absolute level it's not. Then uh reveal directly reveal the nature of enlightened awareness to you. If you realize that being and becoming are are an absolute paradox at one level and at a higher level are one in the same and this and this makes sense to you transrationally then you're getting it. That's when you begin to see and feel the the nature of non-duality or the the one that is that that appears to be two. So, when you can see that which appears to be two, but you but you you're feeling it as not as one, that's very good. And you that that's transrational knowledge of the highest truth of oneness. And I think it's it's important to to have these these kind of contemplative moments because I felt for a long time that too many people kind of assume assume that all is one and speak about it a little bit too casually and and and kind of a little bit too cavalier about yeah, we all all is one. Without actually really having the experience of what it actually means. Cuz when you have the experience of what it actually means, the metaphysical experience of what it actually means, it's profoundly liberating. And you begin to see, feel, and know the universe in higher and deeper ways than most people could imagine. And that's the whole point. All right, thank you everybody. Thank you very much. I appreciate your kind attention and sympathetic interest in the interest in the miracle of enlightenment.